When we follow the rules, but others don't
I came across an eight-year old kid, Sunny, who came home, storming with rage. He flung his bag with unprecedented force on the sofa, then kicked his shoes off to fall in the middle of the room. He was clearly disturbed about something.
A gentle probe after he had freshened up and eaten, revealed the story of an unsavoury incident in school. He saw a boy twirling the pigtails of a girl, which she did not appear to like. Our knight-in-shining-armor came to her rescue and bashed up the errant boy. In retaliation, Sunny was abused and blamed for arrogance, ‘being the son of a bureaucrat’.
Sunny’s outpour was on the following lines:
“You taught me that girls should be respected. But, girls (angry gesture)! She did not even bother to say Thank You. And the teacher just told us not to create a ruckus in the class. I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING! I am not a hooligan to be thrashed. What is wrong in being the son of a bureaucrat?”
Sunny is not an unruly brat, but felt his light being dimmed. His expectations from the world had not been met. At home, he was taught to follow a certain value system, but the response from the world outside was not encouraging. His gallantry did not receive a positive response, to ensure reinforcement of the values.
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7 年First of all,I feel you are noblest of noble women I have ever seen in my lifetime.Because you have read my post,got the idea and developed your own theory and also credited me for my idea,concept(postulate as you say).I am giving you praises repeatedly(also given in the message to you) because I remember of me stealing ideas from others in couple of instances in my childhood(not giving them credit also).However,I don’t do it now.So I feel low of myself infront of you.So I feel I don’t have the chance to find more goodness in myself compared to you. Actually you have patronized me.Regarding your kid (as mentioned in the post above),Even I was like him when I was the kid.I remember my Kannada teacher making a comment in the slang book(tenth standard) “You are innocent if not intelligent.Perhaps only one boy in the class whom I like so much”.I am suggesting regarding your kid that dangers are there,they are solvable.As I have written before “Human life is still explorable and new”,you can explore with your own experiments and experiences,people’s words,books,media are all faulty and misleading.I also remember my friends o calling me “Rebel” some 10 years back.
nothing
7 年are you ok？
chicken whisperer?voice-in-the-wilderness?the thinking man's circular knitting machine mechanic
7 年That is the danger of rewarding good behaviour. Ideally we should do things because they are right, not so that we can receive a pat on the back. Sadly, though, in life the right choice will often earn you scorn rather than reward. To raise children who are stubborn enough to choose "right", regardless of what the norm around them may be, is our task. The right choice is often a thankless path, but personally, it is the path to growth.
Owner at Creative Arts Therapies Services
7 年A most valuable post Reena Saxena. And, as always, beautifully written. The difference for the child will be in the response after the experience. How the adult responds to his feelings and words will either keep him on the road and help him move on, or unfortunately not. Later, for us adults, it's how the people around us, the people we have chosen to have in our lives, how they respond will make the difference. This reinforces how important relationships are and how important it is to make sure we surround ourselves with the people who can guide, support, lead, follow, and most of all walk along side with us on that road.