When is it Too Late?

Before we go any further, I want to be really honest with you: by society’s standards, I came late to the party. I’m not just talking about five or ten minutes, offering an apologetic smile at the host’s door. I’m talking about showing up hours later, dressed slightly inappropriately and feeling the quizzical gaze of those around me. Let me explain -I was thirty-two when I decided to go back to university to study Positive Psychology and Coaching. Thirty-three when I finally passed my driving test (and to this day I swear it was an act of compassion on the examiner’s part, coupled with the fact my instructor could now pretty much retire on  the money he’d made from me!). As if that weren’t enough to get society scowling down on me, I’m thirty-six, unmarried (despite eleven years of cohabitation) and have no children. Not a single one.

Yet- in spite of this, and as contradictory as it may sound- I feel that I’m arriving on time. I’m just beginning to really know myself. Like myself. Some days even love myself. My journey up to this point has not been a frivolous detour, if not the ‘scenic  route’. Past experience has taught me who I’m not. It’s taught me what I value. It’s taught me what I’m willing to strive for.

I used to think it was too late to start again. To redefine who I was. To change ‘direction’. To start from scratch. Now I know this is the perfect time to grow into who I’m meant to be. You see, as much as we resist change, people tend to change. All the time. Contrary to what psychologists used to think, personality is NOT fixed- neither after the age of five, nor the age of thirty. If you want to see just how much people evolve, you should look at the Harvard Grant Study. This is the greatest longitudinal study, charting the lives of men over a seventy-five year time frame. There are two things that are particularly striking about this, the first being that your past doesn’t have to become your destiny. So many men proved this to be true, finding ways to overcome early adversity and thrive against all the odds. The second is the fact that there was no formulaic time frame attached to this- each man came into his own at different times, finding personal and professional success throughout the decades. It was never too late.

Knowing that we’re ever evolving, ever growing into our potentialities, how might that change the way you see your own trajectory? Might it be time to stop suppressing the urge you feel springing up from inside of you? The little niggling voice telling you it’s time to align with who you really are? The realization that it is not too late, that in fact there’s never been a better time to become the person you’ve always secretly known you are? Might you join my Late(r) Bloomers' Club, shining bolder and brighter than ever before?