When those we love fall asleep forever.....

On Friday the 17th June at 7.30pm the call we all dread happened to me. My precious Dad had fallen asleep forever...He was far away from me in Zimbabwe and sadly the global pandemic had made travel to him not possible.

This photograph will always be special for me. I had flown out to Zimbabwe just after Christmas in 2019 as Dad was not well. And we had the most amazing 2 weeks together. We talked about so many different things. We drank wine together. We played cards for hours. We watched cricket. We just sat quietly. I am so grateful that I had those 2 weeks. There was something special as we just sat together. A friend had sneaked this photo of us and it will always remind me of those days. My heart is absolutely busted as I write this. I am sad I was not there with him at the end last Friday evening. I am sad that we had not spoken for more than a week. I am sad that he is sleeping now and I cannot go and be with him. I have such sadness. I loved my Dad so much and I know He loved me back just as much. It was not always perfect. Our family was anything but that but you know what He was always there...my sports achievements (yes people who doubt ) I was a sportswoman back in the day. My Dad was there...every single sports meet I had he was there. My main passion was running and I was the 400m champion for many years in my age category and my Dad would wait for me at the final 100m mark and as I got round all I could hear was "go my girly, run my baby..." (Think accent like Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond...but not as bad as Mel Gibsons in Lethal Weapon...you get the idea)

He taught me to be kind and to help others. He also stood up for me always. He had his scary side also and we went through pain. He too suffered pain in his life. This is where forgiveness enters the narrative. Forgiving someone is not easy. I chose to forgive and heal the past. I sat in this plastic chair and told my Dad that the past was the past and I wanted to focus on being together and being kind to one another and his last weeks, months, years here with us were to be happy ones. I look back now and its 6 months pretty much and I am so glad I had those 2 weeks. My Mom has been gone nearly 21 years this month and they would have been married 50 years on the 20th June....

Hug those you love and forgive those who need forgiving. Live life to the full as we never know what tomorrow brings. My Dads passing was unexpected and I have to hold onto the memories that make me smile and I know he is with my Mom now. No more pain, no more sadness. Fly high Dad and give Mom a kiss for me....sleep well and see you on the other side xx