When Things Go Wrong...

One Friday evening, July 2017.

I come home knackered after work and am looking forward to watching 'Goosebumps' with my nine-year-old son, or sometimes, we watch 'Little Lunches'.

The TV time is our little treat.

But not today. Today, he has other plans.

As I settle in the couch, he says, ‘Mum, I want to make my own YouTube channel.’

He's a devout follower of a few channels, has even written a book (soon to be published) so somehow, I wasn't surprised...

He got started (with some help and supervision) but was stuck at one point.

‘Mum, I want to make a thumbnail.’

Now, I was totally lost.

‘What thumbnail?’ I asked.

‘I want a boy kicking a football into the net and many footballs flying through the air.'

The video was to be called ‘Xtreme Quick-fire Door Handle 5 Check Point Challenge’ so the thumbnail kind of made sense.

But guess what, I had no idea how to make one.

We scrounged the net for help but we weren't having much luck; and at this point - a child begins to cry. To add to it, he somehow thinks it’s my fault for not knowing.

After his teary episode, I was concerned not about the problem but his approach to the problem.

So after he calmed down, we had a chat and he got a bit of work from me: to take a piece of paper and write down the following:

·     Five things he would do when he had a problem

·     Five things he would not do when he had a problem

He spent the next 30 (maybe 60) minutes reflecting or daydreaming, maybe both. Who knows?

Eventually, he figured that there was no getting away and he handed a sheet with 10 points (see picture).

The five things he would do were:

·     Think

·     Try

·     Help

·     Focus

·     Ask for Help

And the five that he said he would not do were:

·     Worry

·     Jump

·     Do stuff that’s not working (i.e. trying the same solution over and over)

·     Hit

·     Blame

Note: He’s omitted cry. Maybe he thinks it will be harder not to cry. Well, at least he’s honest.

Why am I sharing this?

1. Just to connect as a parent; because sometimes, parenting can be hard.
2. It's okay not to know: Much as we love our children, we can't always have all the answers - and that’s okay. What's important is that we find someone who does. My son has now had a one-on-one chat with someone who can help and we begin lessons soon. Python, GIMP, Scratch...the curriculum is being written as we speak.
3. Is not okay to leave it at that: While we can solve some of their problems, at some point, they will need to be able to figure their own solutions and so it's important that they learn to navigate through problems. It may not be the skill they are looking for, but quite often is the skill they need.

So happy parenting to all the parents, though of course, as I switch hats between work and home, I have to admit that much of it applies to work too. Hence the GROW model or DMAIC for that matter. I won't go into those for now but drop me a line if you'd like me to cover them at some point.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.