When Things Don’t Go According to Plan

We just got back from a family trip to Australia and New Zealand with our three adult children and three young grandchildren that we started planning 18 months ago. The trip didn’t go as planned.

A few days in, after seeing the standard sights in Sydney—the Sydney Opera House, Harbour Bridge, Bondi beach,—and then heading to Brisbane to visit the Australia Zoo and hang with giraffes, and meet a Tasmanian devil, I suggested to my wife that we take it easy and have a light dinner. Bad suggestion.

Irene got food poisoning from the oysters and was soon bed-ridden. She decided to continue with the rest of the trip, to Kangaroo Island via Adelaide. The southern most landmass before Antarctica, this place was remote, you can only get there by plane or ferry. We had no idea what kind of medical facility or care would be available. As soon as we arrived, while the rest of our family went out and explored the sites, viewing kangaroos and koalas in the wild and watching seals sunbathe, we visited the local medical clinic. But while our trip was changed, it wasn’t derailed. In fact, in the end, we probably had a more meaningful experience—and the kind you hope to get out of travel.

The local hotel didn’t accept kids younger than 10 so our travel agent booked us at One Kangaroo Island, a house right on the Southern Ocean. The owners, Coreena, a retired school head mistress and Hugh, an attorney, welcomed us and soon became more than hosts. Coreena's best friend, Gillian, a registered nurse, helped Irene through her illness and all three hosts called to schedule appointments and took us where we needed to go. While my wife was recovering, Hugh took me on a private tour through the island where his family has lived for generations. He had purchased 300 acres to preserve the land for its animal inhabitants. I saw a lot of kangaroos, some eagles and wallabies.

But something unexpected happened. In these unplanned hours and days, I got to spend quality time with my wife. Over hours spent in waiting rooms, or days spent conversing over tea, we both got to know Coreena and Hugh and Gillian. I couldn’t believe the efforts they went to take care of us. And we came to care for them. We became friends.

Even when you have setbacks, you can find enjoyable moments, and you can see the best come out in other people. I’ve experienced this before. I previously learned that when things go south, when a site crashes and you have to get it working again, there are positive outcomes too: you are spending unscheduled hours with people and you get to know them. At eBay, when we worked on Auction for America after 9/11, it took all weekend, but I also got to collaborate with people I wouldn’t have otherwise had an opportunity to meet, and we built lifelong bonds.

Most of us spend most of our lives being over-scheduled, running from meeting to meeting, going from place to place—even on vacation. When something happens that changes the plan, a crisis at work, a sick child on a work day, food poisoning on holiday, you’ll find that there is something positive that happens in that newly found time and space. As I was recently reminded, sometimes adventures go awry, but you end up finding exactly what you were searching for.