When things don't feel right - the typically aren't

When things don't feel right - the typically aren't

THURSDAY - LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

Do you ever find yourself reacting to someone in a way that you can't quite name?

What is it about them that really pushes your buttons and why is it that they don't react to your reaction?

In my experience, the more we get to know and like ourselves, the more we learn about and know when and why we are getting emotionally triggered and how to respond and not react.

As a leader, this can be especially hard if the person you are sensitive around also happens to be one of your employees because there can be an expectation of leaders needing to maintain a level of ''calm resoluteness'' that may not be easily attainable or maintainable in those moments.

What can also be challenging is when we accumulate negative angst and perceptions of others because we are triggered, we can run the risk of unfairly apply judgement and misdirect our own feelings during performance appraisals and other key discussions where we are required to provide constructive professional useful feedback.

When we do this, ideally, we are assessing the application of the company behaviours, their delivery of outcomes against their performance plan goals and their role description.

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Not sure if you are feeling triggered? Consider this list of the physical responses you may be experiencing:

  • You can feel or hear your heart beating
  • You may feel Sweaty
  • Your mind may race or immediately jump to conclusions around the situation (even though the whole situation hasn't played out)
  • You may be tired all the time and lack energy
  • You may have an upset tummy or faster breathing or
  • foggy or disjointed thinking (or lack of focus)

If you are being triggered, consider these tips:

  • Gain awareness - that you are being triggered, so that you can respond and not react in the moment
  • obtain some support from a coach or therapist - there are several models that support people to work through and gain a higher level of awareness on their triggers
  • Recognise your feelings and own them - and not blame others for how they made you feel
  • Share how you feel - whether it is journalling, sharing your feelings with a trusted friend, coach or advisor or
  • Understand what triggered your emotional response as some may relate to a need or an expectation not being met.

The key with triggers is to recognise and name them so that we are aware and ready to respond and not react when they arise.







Jo J.

?? Performance Architect| ?? Executive Coach | ?? Speaker | I show you how self intimacy enhances your performance

2 年

This one is a game changer, once we understand Carl Jung. Our shadows are powerful. Thanks Lisa Coletta - Corporate Governance Change Leader

Joe Swinger

I help corporate professionals find careers they love | Trusted Advisor to Midlife Executives/Senior Professionals | What's your life's Destination | Make the next 40 years more meaningful than the last 40.

2 年

I always seemed to trigger a certain type of employee who saw me as a negative father figure of some sort. Only after transparent conversations are we ever able to move forward.

Sally Anderson

Trusted Advisor | Confidante To The Elite | I partner with the most extraordinary minds to reveal the missing piece that gives them ULTIMATE power with CERTAINTY | Author

2 年

Powerful subject ??

Christopher Rausch

Transformational Consultant Empowering Progressive Teams & Culture Catalyst | Problem-Solving Leader for Agile Brands | Championing Change & Community Growth | No Excuses, Just Results!

2 年

Love this post Lisa! So true we need to hold up our accountability mirror when we are feeling triggered by outside influences. "What am I making this to mean about me?" or another question I personally use when this takes place is "What about this person is triggering something in me that reminds me of _____?" Many times, I found the person triggering me reminded me of one person - my mother. With that I was able to do a deeper dive into my own unresolved emotions to reduce my negative feelings about HER and then reduced my reactions to others when they exhibited similar characteristics. Lastly, with my own coaching clients, I share with them the truth of, "We often don't like in others what we don't like in ourselves." Boom! No shortage of triggers these days! LOL! Thanks for posting this!

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