When There's So Much to be Said but Left Unsaid

I sit here, about halfway through my yearly goal for LinkedIn posts (which I now recognize was a bad idea), wondering what to write. After all, I need four paragraphs. My mind is racing, and yet somehow, I can't speak all of my thoughts.

I thought about a recent difficult conversation with a friend and how I shared what I thought was crucial but left so much out of the conversation. Unhelpful thoughts and feelings sat on my shoulder like the devil himself. The timing has to be suitable to share one's thoughts. If the receiver is particularly emotional, it's not usually a good time.?

Yet waiting until the time is right can sometimes mean deciding to forgo the discussion altogether. It's the easier choice until it comes up again, and I regret not addressing it the first time.

For example, I knew two people, who worked under my influence/supervision, but weren't my employees. They both had great strengths and were influential in their own right.?

One openly questioned my authority just as I got into my role. Because of his influence, I didn't want to alienate him. He did it on a small scale first. Because I want to know the path forward, I want to hear if people can poke holes in my thoughts and direction. They may (and very likely) know something I don't.?

Since I didn't have much background in the subject matter, he thought he knew better. It turned from questioning to making my life harder, and a difficult discussion ensued. I explained that I need people to help bridge the gaps in my blind spots, so I welcome feedback. However, I don't need people who will make my life harder. After that challenging discussion, he became my right-hand man and provided excellent support. We became good friends and manifested our shared vision into reality.??

I had another lady, whom I put into a critical responsibility, who attempted to subvert me because she wanted my role (unbeknownst to me until it happened). I tried to address the underlying feelings of animosity several times but was told by others (as well as herself) that she doesn't like confrontation. Then she tried to make me look bad. Really bad. Unfortunately for her, it backfired (as these things often do).?

Behind her back, I let everyone know that her part was solely her responsibility (under my trust and supervision), figuring that when our demonstrated success hit, it would make a compelling case to hire her. In messing that part up intentionally, she hurt herself. She told someone else she wanted to come back and hold that pivotal role again, and they told me. Triangulation is never a good thing, IMO and especially when trust has been violated. I said it was open for discussion, but?a discussion would be needed. As Ricky Ricardo would say, "You've got some explaining to do."

It didn't, and she attempted to rake my reputation through the coals to discredit me. So be it. We can't control everything that happens to us. Unfortunately for her, those whose opinions mattered knew the true story, so it didn't sway their opinion. It wasn't the first time a woman tried to drag my name through the mud (nor the last), so I just dealt and let the cards fall where they may. I have goals to hit and not a lot of free time to deal with bs from someone with too much free time.

This goes back to whether or not to say something in the service of a relationship. I don't like hard conversations. I also don't like the outcome of evading hard discussions more. In the words of Brene Brown - clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.