When Success Fails to Satisfy

I have many hard charging, highly?accomplished?friends and colleagues. I was speaking to one recently who is getting ready to retire. I said something to the effect that he must be very proud of all?his career accomplishments. His response?was tepid at best. When I asked him why he looked less?than thrilled he made an interesting statement. He explained that as intense as he was about reaching different goals and plateaus, when he hit them, it never was quite as fulfilling?as he thought it would be. It never quite filled him up. So he redoubled his efforts on the?next goal. But it always seemed underwhelming when he reached it.?

Earlier in my life I had a similar revelation. As a young?man I had achieved?and?done many things that?I thought would make me complete and happy. One of the scariest days of my life was the?day I was reflecting on all?I had done, and yet experiencing?complete?emptiness inside.?

I read an article this morning in the Wall Street Journal that discussed?Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who leads a longitudinal study, started in 1938,?on how people thrive.?‘Is This It?’ When Success Isn’t Satisfying - WSJ?The?study?asked the question, "Is this it?" The question is in response?to the lack of fulfillment that often?comes after a big success. A big promotion. The closing of a huge deal. Winning a prestigious award. Maybe you feel great for a while after significant?accomplishment, but soon the success high wears off and is replaced by that old panic we hoped the accomplishment would finally cure. Then we wonder: Where’s the next win??

The article explains, "We’re all sprinting on what psychologists call a hedonic treadmill. That is, we might get a hit of joy when we achieve something, but we eventually return to our baseline level of happiness (or unhappiness). Whatever heights we reach, we’re still, well, us.?Plenty of us would be happy to try our luck with fame and fortune, complications be damned. And it’s hard not to crave stuff and status when so much in our culture—from Super Bowl ads to friends’ Instagram feeds—insists that’s where fulfillment lies.?Success itself isn’t inherently bad, notes Dr. Waldinger, who adds: “Just don’t expect it to make you happy.”

Ever had that feeling? Are you there currently? Are you chasing your next great purchase, or job, or vacation spot? The study says don't expect the next thing to complete you. So where do you go? The article says,"Lasting happiness results from wins that foster deep relationships and are imbued with meaning—some bigger payoff beyond your salary. Think of work that affects clients’ lives or bonds your team together."?As for me, true joy was found when I got connected with God and found peace with Him as well as finding joy in being in the process of living life with people I love deeply. Joy came from being connected in close relationships.?That's me.?It may be something else for you. What is it? But according to the Harvard study, the dogged pursuit of success doesn't?seem to do it.