When someone corrects you and you feel offended, you have a high ego

We all make mistakes in life and we keep correcting them when we realise that that was our mistake. But when someone else points our mistake we feel bad and offended about this correction. Agreed that making mistakes is uncomfortable but having someone point out our mistakes is even more uncomfortable. Our insecurities are stirred up and feelings of self-esteem are threatened. We desire to be seen as “perfect”, we want our endeavors to be successful, mistakes put cracks in that shiny surface that we try to show the world. That’s “why” you get annoyed.

And we learn by making mistakes and having someone who can correct us makes that learning easier as long as we are receptive to those corrections. In a classroom situation, it is expected that especially during discussions the students and sometimes even the instructors will be corrected in front of the class. This happens to everyone, it is the most efficient way of teaching a group of students. Perhaps you have someone in particular but not in a setting that is designed for instruction that corrects your mistakes publicly.

We may ask for more clarification if necessary, thank them for helping you but be gracious, even if you aren’t feeling that way. If their intention was to help you then you’ve done the right thing, you’ve been accepting of their help…even if it was uncomfortable. If their intention was for some reason to embarrass you, your gracious response spoiled that plan. You are better off either way.

Basically I adopted a habit of pointing out my own mistakes. If I screwed up at work, as soon as I realized it I would point it out to my boss or a coworker who might be affected by the mistake, or could help correct it. Being open about mistakes and receptive about correction makes life, and work, a whole lot more comfortable. With time, having your mistakes pointed out becomes easier as we never stop making mistakes, you’ll have plenty of practice.

It might happen that they may even start giving fake reasons why they did such and such thing. They would become their own advocates, and use any tactic to defend their mistakes. Or, they may completely disagree and not accept that it's a mistake. For some people, if you do this in front of others, they feel insulted. But, if you told them a little later when they're alone - they may not feel offended, and may accept their mistake.

It's all due to high super ego. More the ego, more they feel offended, more they get angry, or more they hate you. In extreme cases, they may take revenge, or even kill you. This would be rare - but you can guess the level of the heightened ego in such cases. If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, "You are wrong." This method works every time.

Therefore, avoid pointing out someone's mistake at least in front of others, as much as possible. Or, do this only if you understand the person won't feel offended, and it's critical to point out the mistake. If you have to point out their mistake, do it later when no one else is around. Don’t directly point out their mistake. First, praise them for their good qualities, and then softly point out their mistake. This makes them more likely to accept their mistake.

It is basic human tendency not to accept mistakes when someone else points them out. They are not confident or they may be insecure and they may have unhealed past wound or they don’t quite get others' perception of their mistakes. Someone correcting their mistake is directly touching their ego. So, they feel offended.

But there is a secret to it is not let it show, and just accept that someone corrected you, because it was wrong. I mean, if it’s said in a impolite manner, I don’t see a reason to be happy about them correcting you, that just shows more about them, than you. However, what I tend to do when correcting people, is to say it very nicely. Make them sure that I don’t mean any harm by saying this and make them smile. Cheers!