When the small hands of children hold a marriage together

She was driven to do something drastic after suffering at the hands of her in-laws, when one day, she made a change. 5 decades later Leela Ramaswamy reminisces about the nature of love in such a marriage.

I got married more than five decades ago and at a time when romantic love was expected to succeed rather than precede the event. I had grown up in a nurturing and loving atmosphere. The education I received was a liberal one and, at quite a young age, was armed with an Honours degree in Literature. When the question of matrimony came up however, tradition took an upper hand. The groom chosen for me had also received an education on lines similar to mine and we seemed suited to each other. A surprise awaited me though and not a pleasant one at that.

My in-laws were rooted in orthodoxy. My education and degree were merely glitz on the wedding invitation. My husband placed his parents’ wishes above everything else and catered to all their whims. My mother-in-law was a possessive, vindictive woman and took every opportunity to ’keep me in check’ and humiliate me. I became a household drudge, my talents and hopes completely crushed. My husband, an only child, though not callous by nature, was completely subservient to his parents. My parents, who gradually came to know of my situation, advised me to have patience and ‘adjust’. Placed far away from home and with no money of my own, there was little I could do but pay heed to their advice. Read More