When Sh*t Happens

When Sh*t Happens

My boyfriend and I decided to part ways in early 2023. This was a big decision that neither one of us took lightly. Given we lived together, it was a lot to unwind. Logistically and emotionally.

So during that time, it’s fair to say, sh*t happened!

But I have a business to run! I have clients who count on me each and every day to show up as my best self and help them crush their goals. Work doesn't slow down when life happens. It seems to ramp up as soon as we need a breather.

Whether it’s a breakup, divorce, issues with your kids, your health, or a death in the family, life happens. Sh*t happens. So what do we do when the professional demands keep mounting when things seem out of control in our personal lives?

First, remember these things aren’t happening TO YOU, they’re just happening. Life is full of challenges and opportunities and I equate them to waves in the ocean. Some are big, and some are small. They come in, and they go. But I always remember the universe is working in my favor, not against me. So instead of asking “why is this happening to me?” ask instead, “what are the lessons that are presenting themselves to me right now?” My good buddy?Glenn Ambrose?says "life is a schoolhouse". We all have different curricula, but we will be presented with lessons all along the way.

Second, when circumstances seem out of control, it’s important to focus on what you CAN control. Here are a few ideas: Your breathing. You can control that. Which means you can control how your nervous system is reacting to the circumstances. You can control your thoughts. You can control how you view it. You can control how much power you want to give the circumstance. You have a lot of power, freedom, and choice. You can control how you show up and respond. You have much more agency than you think or may realize when things otherwise seem in a tailspin.

Third, be honest. You don’t have to give every gory detail to your boss, coworkers or clients, but it’s important to remember, every one of us deals with life’s ups and downs. If you need to move a meeting because you aren’t mentally prepared, by all means, do it. I had a boss once who kicked off a staff meeting on a Monday morning by saying “I’m not mentally prepared for this meeting today”. It was one of the most refreshing things I’d heard a leader say. We can’t all have it together all the time. Although there are times we need to power through, there’s also a time and place to say “hey, can this wait until tomorrow, please?”

Fourth, ask for help. Many companies offer employee resource programs or access to coaches, therapists, and support systems. Asking for help when you need it is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is the complete opposite. It’s the greatest sign of strength, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal growth.

Remember, everyone has varying degrees of challenges. We are all in this thing called life together. Be kind, you never know someone else’s pain they’re powering through. Be there for each other. When you’re up and someone else is down, offer to lend a hand if you can.

I'm choosing to face this moment in life with gratitude, and self-reflection, and as a massive opportunity for continuous growth, healing, and renewal.?

Drop an AMEN if you've been through some sh*t and came out the other side!

Jen Adams is the founder of Gold Light Leadership and creator of Launch into Leadership Success, a group coaching program for women in business. She is a certified life and spiritual coach with over 20 years of corporate marketing experience working for some of the world's most recognized brands. She is a trusted advisor to an elite roster of high-achieving executives across sports, tech, travel, and finance. DM Jen for a link to join her free, private Facebook group for more content like this.