When Sh*t Goes Sideways, ask "Okay, So What's For Lunch?"

Someone significant to me is embarking on a new journey. I wanted to do something meaningful for him and thought, perhaps, that not only might you benefit from it but add a few things I may have missed:

The Fundamentals

Invest in Relationships

Time is the currency of friendship. The more you invest, the richer your emotional life becomes. Don't forget: quality friends are rare. If you find them, hold onto them like the precious commodities they are.

Continuous Learning

Ignorance isn't bliss; it's a straitjacket. The willingness to learn, unlearn, and relearn is not just a sign of intelligence—it's the hallmark of great leadership.? Be part of something bigger than yourself. Whether it's a cause, a project, or a community, expand your sense of self through shared objectives.

Asking for Help

Self-sufficiency is a myth. Your journey will be strewn with the aid and advice of others, whether you admit it or not. Asking for help is neither a sign of weakness nor a submission; it is a humble acceptance of your own humanity.

No Man is an Island

The idea of the "self-made man" is a seductive lie. Every achievement is built on the backs of others. Recognize the influence and support surrounding you, and give credit where it's due. There is nothing new under the sun.

Savor the Small Stuff

In our rush towards larger-than-life ambitions, we often forget the joy in the little things. The laughter of our children, the love expressed in a knowing smile, the smell and warmth of a wood fire aren't just distractions; they're reminders to breathe.

Our Children

Paraphrasing Khalil Gibran, he said that our children come through us, not from us. Your kids aren't extensions of you; they're unique beings driven by life longing for itself. They may share your home, but they carve their own futures. Love them, but allow them the freedom to think and feel independently. We fuck them up enough already by passing down the generational trauma.? Through self-awareness, we can put an end to it; do so.

The Rituals

Connect and Listen

Aim to genuinely connect with at least one person every day. While you're at it, be an active listener. Too often, we think about what we will say next while someone else is talking.? The etymology of the word discipline is to be a student, to listen - not to punish ourselves.? There is power in words.? Choose them wisely.

Embrace Gratitude

Every morning, I start my day by acknowledging something I’m grateful for. This practice doesn't just shift your mindset; it rewires your brain. It can be something specific or just waking up and being grateful for it all.? Feel it in your body and listen.

What's For Lunch?

When faced with life's inevitable challenges, respond with levity: "Okay, thanks. What's for lunch?" It's not trivializing the situation; it's maintaining perspective.

Giving

Be part of something bigger than yourself. The highest form of living is being in service of others.

The Nuances

Determine Your Values

These aren't morals or ethics, which are communal human frameworks. Values are deeply personal and guide your actions when no one is watching.

Parental Reckoning

Reconcile whatever baggage you have with your parents for your own peace of mind. We're all flawed, but don't let the past dictate your future.

Personal Growth Is Optional, Suffering Isn't

Realize that your feelings are internal barometers, telling you what's right or wrong for you. Listen, but don't let your mind distort what your soul is saying. Suffering is a choice.? It’s optional.

Emotions are a Double-Edged Sword

It can take you to the peak of joy just as swiftly as it can pull you into the abyss. Neither is an experience to be ashamed of; both make you uniquely you.

The Little Things

My high school principal gave me the following advice: “Only drink fine wine.”? This has taken on new meaning at every turn.? Savor and enjoy everything. All of it.? The good and the bad, the left and the right, the ups and the downs.? This isn’t meant to stifle but to maintain equilibrium.? Therefore, I choose the middle path and live it as best I can in that moment.

The Don'ts

Never Forget Who You Are (nor Who She Is)

Identity is sacred. In the complexities of family life, it's easy for personalities to meld or get suppressed. Don't let that happen.? See her. See your kids. Let them know how you see them.

Don't Follow Unquestioningly

Just because your father, or anyone else, did something a certain way doesn't make it right or wise. You are a leader.? Leaders lead.

Tequila

Enough said.

Final Thoughts

When you're stuck—whether it's at work, in your relationships, or in your personal growth—ask for feedback. Allow yourself to be seen. Likewise, let others know how you see them. Remember, the ultimate human experience is a connection.

In the face of adversity, be the person who can say, "I can do something about this," and then actually do it. If you see someone or something in distress and can help, don't hesitate.

Every person you meet and every experience you have is a thread in the tapestry of life. It's not about avoiding the bad threads but about weaving them into your story in a way that makes the whole picture richer, more colorful, and profoundly more meaningful.

To your next chapter, my friend.

Chris?

PS. Eat a few mushrooms once in a while. An examined life is one worth living.