When Should You Say Yes and No To Opportunities?
The same thing that allows professionals to get ahead early in their career is the same thing that leads to burnout later on. There has been plenty of advice of late, telling professionals they should learn to say “no” more often. You’re told that people will respect you more for saying no, and it’ll allow you to focus on what is truly important.
While there’s some truth to the above sentiment, there’s two sides to every story. The topic of work-life balance has been taken from a story of why workaholics should spend more time with their families to one where books like The 4-Hour Work Week has professionals trying to figure out how to work less. All while Millennials get a bad reputation for being lazy and entitled (which is a gross generalization).
But amidst all the mixed messages and hypocrisy, there’s hope. There’s legitimate reasons why some professionals are getting ahead and why some are getting burned out. It’s quite simple really. What it boils down to is knowing when you should say yes to opportunities and when you should say no.
The Wrong Time To Say No
There’s a time and a place for everything, and there’s a time to say no. However, there are some pretty bad times to say “no.” If you have the time and capacity to do something your boss is telling you needs to get done, it’s a bad idea to say no. He/she won’t respect you; they’ll wonder why they hired you. Just because you don’t feel like doing something or it’s not the absolute best use of your time, it doesn’t give you an excuse to say no.
Another bad time to say no is when you’re trying to build relationships across teams, departments, etc. and you have an opportunity to strengthen a relationship. If you turn down opportunities to improve relationships within your company or outside of your company, you’re doing yourself and your organization a great disservice. Know your limits, but try your best to fit in some of these opportunities.
The Right Time To Say No
There are legitimate times and reasons for saying “no.” For instance, if you are truly swamped with work, it might be a good time to say no. You COULD look at priority and when you need to deliver the work you’ve already taken on. If you can shuffle things and make them manageable, then why not sharpen your time management skills? But if you’re truly swamped, be honest with whoever is asking you to do something. They’ll respect honesty, not laziness.
There are other times where saying “no” strategically makes sense. For example, I had a boss once who always needed presentations put together for meetings with his superiors. He would tell me what he needed, and I’d put the data and presentation together. He’d critique my work and tell me what needed to be fixed or changed, and I’d do it. We’d go through about 3-4 iterations until it was JUST the way he wanted. This went on for several different presentations, and I finally got burnt out by it. Clearly he had a way that he wanted his presentations done. I figured we wasted more time in the iterations than it would have taken for him to just use the data to format his own presentation, so I brought that idea to him. I respectfully stated my observation, and he agreed to put together the presentation if I provided him clear, concise data. It was tactful and had legitimate purpose behind it, but I told him no, and it was for the best.
The Wrong Time To Say Yes
The most obvious reason why you shouldn’t take on a project or pursue an opportunity is when you clearly don’t have the bandwidth to do it, much less do it well. It’s great to look like a team player and someone who is the “go-to” when something needs to get done. That’s a GREAT reputation to have. The problem with it is when you can’t say no, and your plate becomes so full that you can no longer execute on what you’re given. Whether it’s an ask from a superior or peer or some other opportunity you’re presented with, you have to know your limits.
Looking strictly at non job-specific opportunities, there’s a wrong time to say yes to what may seem like an opportunity. Whether you think the opportunity will help with career advancement or you feel obligated to the one who asked you, if you’re simply not interested in the opportunity presented, then don’t do it. Don’t take a job you have no interest in. Don’t take on side projects you don't have a professional passion for or are curious about. Dreading extra work is doubly counterproductive. Not only are you eating up your bandwidth, but you’re doing it with extra work that will be draining versus energizing. I'll state the caveat that I'm referring to professional opportunities, not when a neighbor needs help with something. Telling an elderly neighbor that you're not passionate about helping them cut their grass just so you don't have to do it is pretty lame.
The Best Time(s) To Say Yes
You thought I’d talk about the “right” time to say yes, but there truly is a “best” time to say yes. Clearly you need to do what your boss tells you, even if they’re a bad boss who doesn’t care that you’re already drowning in the work they’ve given you. That’s not what I’m talking about. When it comes to things that are not directly tied to your job description, there is a “best” time to say yes to those things.
As I talked with Shawn Kumar on Episode 5 of my podcast, he reflected back on how he wore many hats inside of organizations he worked for. He, like many other ambitious and driven professionals, had a hard time saying no. He was both the beneficiary of saying “yes” to most things and the recipient of work fatigue at times. He got advice from mentors that he shouldn’t try to take on everything, and they’re right. You should only be taking on the “best” things when it comes to how you want to invest your time.
There are three “best” times to say yes to opportunities or to actively seek them out:
- When your career interests are changing from what you’re currently doing
When I interviewed Tanuj Goyal and Chelsey Feldman on the podcast, they shared similar stories of how they made their pivots from their former roles to Product Marketing. Tanuj was a software engineer in India and Chelsey was in Finance at Microsoft. But they both got the opportunity to pivot in similar ways. They both got close to the product marketing teams at their respective companies and got engaged. When you know what you want to do and you’re not currently doing it, the best thing to do is get in close proximity to it, whether it’s inside or outside of your organization.
2. When you’re looking for upward mobility in your career
Countless professionals are stuck with their heads down trying to work as hard as they can and hope they get noticed by their managers. But let’s face it, many managers don’t suck, they’re just too busy to notice. It’s easy to not pay attention to the “good children.” It’s the troublemakers who often get more attention, and managers assume everything is okay with their top performers. Great employees often get discouraged thinking their work goes unnoticed, and they wonder why they don’t get the opportunities they want.
Well, there’s an easy fix to the problem. You should be actively seek out the opportunities you want, before you formally get placed in the role you desire. Prove you can do the job you want and ask your manager or their peers what you need to be doing to show that you’re ready. Not only does this proactive approach put you on their radar, it sets a level of expectation in their mind of what you want, and you’re likely to get the chance to prove it through some extra responsibility or project. Worst case scenario is you have a tough conversation with your boss on why they don’t think you’re ready. In either case, you’re now in a position to understand where their thoughts are and what you can do about it.
3. When you want to grow where you are
Maybe you’re not looking to change careers, and maybe you know you’re not ready to take that next step in your career. First off, if you’re self-aware enough to know you’re not ready, then you’re already ahead of most. But, secondly, you’re in a great mindset to start growing where you are. Realizing there’s a problem is the first step; taking action on it is the necessary second.
You might know exactly what your weaknesses are or where the growth opportunities are, but you might not. Asking your peers who are better than you, your superiors, or more experienced professionals with the same role are all great ways to identify potential blind spots. Although blind spots may sound negative, they’re just what you need to uncover in order to pursue growth. If you’re already aware of gaps in hard skills, competencies, or interpersonal skills that need work, start learning a new subject matter or start practicing that new or weak skill.
There are two types of growth, growth that broadens you or growth that deepens you. What I mean by that is you can either pursue growth opportunities that broaden your understanding of your role, your industry, or roles and industries adjacent to yours. If you’re looking to get better at strategic skillsets or competencies, this is a great place to start. The ability to think strategically comes from having a broad understanding of a given area and being able to connect the disconnected in a coherent way.
Growth opportunities that deepen you are focused more on expertise and tactical development. A computer programmer might want to go deeper on a specific software language or web framework. They may want to be the best at that one thing, while the programmer looking for broadening growth might learn new languages. They might learn DevOps if they’re a front-end developer. Even more broad, they might study marketing to better understand how they could contribute to other parts of the organization, while gaining more context on the broader implications of what they're developing.
There are countless opportunities for growth, but like Shawn mentioned in our interview, you can’t possibly do it all. The best reasons for saying “yes” to an opportunity is because you’re truly interested in what you’ll be doing or there’s an intentional growth outcome you’re looking for. We only have so much time in a day and in life more generally, so be intentional with your time. Let your yes be yes and your no be no, and know why you’re saying yes or no.
John Fontenot | Product Manager | Startup Founder | Podcast Host | Author