When to shift from Asking Questions to Giving Advice?

Over the past month, I’ve written about the power of asking the right questions in financial planning and how meaningful conversations often uncover clients’ deeper motivations. Yet, as planners, we know there comes a point when clients need more than just thoughtful questioning, they actually need advice. The challenge is knowing when to make that shift and how to offer information without diminishing the client’s ownership of their decision-making process.

Financial planning isn’t just about numbers and solutions; it’s about navigating the delicate balance between listening and leading, questioning and advising. So, when should you stop asking questions and start giving advice?

Start with What the Client Needs

The first step is simple: Ask the client what they need from you. Do they need space to process their options? More information to make an informed choice? Or perhaps validation that they’re on the right path?

Providing advice without understanding what the client needs can derail their decision-making process. By asking, "What would be helpful for you right now?" or "What information do you need from me to move forward?" you empower clients to guide the conversation.

When Information Becomes Essential

Sometimes, clients reach a point where questions alone aren’t enough. They require factual, technical knowledge to make a sound financial decision, and that’s where your expertise comes in.

I always use this simple example:

A client approaches you with the intention of selling a property. Their motivation might be to free up cash, downsize, or invest elsewhere. You ask the right questions:

• "What do you hope selling this property will achieve for you?"
• "How will selling this property impact your long-term goals?"
• "What is motivating this decision right now?"

Through this process, the client clarifies their reasons. But there’s a crucial piece of information missing, the potential Capital Gains Tax (CGT) implications. Without this knowledge, the client can’t fully assess whether selling is the right move.

This is the moment to shift from asking to advising.

As the financial planning expert, it’s your responsibility to share relevant facts: "Based on your situation, selling this property could trigger a capital gains tax liability of approximately X Rands. This may reduce the net proceeds and affect your next steps."

Providing this information gives the client critical data to consider. But your role doesn’t end there, you must return to questioning to help them process the information.

Ask: "Now that you have this information, what is possible for you?" or "How does knowing the potential tax impact influence your decision?"

The goal is to ensure the client integrates the advice into their decision-making process, rather than defaulting to "My financial planner said I should..." The decision needs to remain theirs.

The difference between fact and opinion

Knowing the difference between fact and opinion is crucial. I always say the litmus test is this: if the information can be evidenced through data, it is a fact. However, if it is based on an experience you have had, it is most likely an opinion.

For instance, in the example above, Capital Gains Tax (CGT) is factual information—it is constant and can be calculated based on tax regulations.

It is tempting to relate a client’s situation to your own or to another client’s story, especially when you have seen similar cases before. You might think, "When I sold my property..." or "I had a client who went through the same thing..."

But here’s the risk:

• No two experiences are the same. Even if the facts appear similar, the emotional, psychological, and personal context differs.
• Sharing your experience can unintentionally invalidate the client’s experience or decision-making process.
• The client may shift focus to supporting your experience rather than exploring their own.

Instead of inserting your opinion based on your experience, stay curious about their experience:

• "What has this experience of owning (and now selling) the property been like for you?"
• "How does this decision align with the life you want to build?"
• "What feelings come up for you as you consider selling?"

These questions allow you to explore not just the surface-level decision but the client’s relationship to the experience itself.

Moving from Data to Deeper Insight

Providing information should never overshadow the client’s own understanding of their life. Numbers are just data until we explore what they mean to the client:

• How does this financial decision reflect the way they show up in the world?
• In what ways might their relationship with money be influencing this choice?
• What patterns or assumptions are guiding their thinking?

When clients view their financial decisions through the lens of self-awareness, they become empowered to make choices that align with their values, not just what “makes sense” on paper.

Practical Application: Questions to Ask After Giving Advice

Here are some more ways to transition back into questioning after providing advice or information:

• "How do you feel about the information I’ve shared?"
• "What stands out to you from what we’ve discussed?"
• "What concerns or questions does this bring up for you?"
• "What would make you feel more confident moving forward?"
• "With this information in mind, what next step feels right for you?"

The Art of Balance

Your expertise is invaluable, but advice should be a tool, not the default response. Clients don’t just come to us for solutions; they come for clarity, empowerment, and guidance.

By leading with questions and offering advice only when it adds meaningful context, you help clients make informed choices that are truly their own.

And when you do provide information, always circle back to a well-structured question that encourages reflection, ownership, and progress.

Because at the end of the day, we are not the experts in our clients' lives, they are. Our role is to illuminate the path, not walk it for them.

?? When do you find it hardest to hold back on giving advice? How do you balance questioning with sharing your expertise? Let’s discuss in the comments below!