WHEN THE SHADOW IS LARGER THAN LIFE......

“You don't find light by avoiding the darkness.”

― S. Kelley Harrell

Social distancing means more time to ourselves, more time with family members. Sounds great, doesn't it? Not really, the calls I have been receiving talk of another story.

Stories of confrontations with family members and most importantly confrontation with the self is leaving individuals stressed, anxious and depressed. Those living on their own with no other distractions like movies, malls and parties are feeling lonely.

" I don't like being by myself. I want company."

"I can't believe I can have such thoughts, no this is not me."

" He is crazy and so irritating. Can't believe we've been married for 8 long years."

The above are just some of the statements that were expressed. The anxiety of what is happening in the world around us is one thing but what is coming from within is another that needs to be handled. This is a time where we need to build on our compassion for self and others, be emphatic towards family members as they too are going through their own challenges. Show some understanding and patience.

The worst challenge is confronting with the self, the side of ours that creeps from within in to the external , taking us by total surprise. Our shadow self emerges and it seems so real and larger than the self.

What does this shadow side seek? What is this shadow self we are talking about? Robert A Johnson says, " The shadow is comprised largely of elements of our nature - our repressed sexuality, fears, frailties, secret desires and so on that we have rejected for various reasons and as such have been effectively split off, forming a type of secondary personality that emerges under certain conditions like stress, anxiety, strong emotions and anything involving sudden changes."

In our daily routine and fast paced life, we had no time to think about anything other than how and when do I finish the next task on hand. Now the scene is different. We do have time and moreover we are confined to a space - a space we call home.

For some the confined space is too much to remain in. It will do us good to remember that by acknowledging our shadow self, we will only be healing ourselves. It is a part of us which seeks attention and gets triggered. Let us be aware of it. Let us befriend our shadow self.

Shadows exist where there is light. Our shadows contain the hidden talent in us. Working with our shadow self will help us get in touch with every side of us - the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful - embrace every bit of yourself. It gives a feeling of completeness, of wholeness.

Carl Jung had rightly said " Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

Use this time wisely, use it for self work, befriend yourself. Be your own best friend. Let the shadow diminish and the real you emerge out of the shadows.