When Running Takes the Leap from Enjoyment to a Deeper Meaning.

My tragedy happened several years ago. What started out as a regular day changed in a nano-second! Everything in my future would be different and I would never be the same again.?

I was running from my home over the bridge to Gateway National Park where I eventually run a car-free path.?I only live 1/2 mile away so I run to the park entrance every day.?I was tragically hit head on by an irresponsible driver who was not paying attention.?I remember the impact…the pain…the fear.?I vividly remember trying to push the truck out of my way! It is amazing, human reaction.?I was thrown like a basketball 20 feet in the air and remained conscious the whole time to FEEL the excruciating pain.?They closed bridge and school buses and cars started lining up.?The craziest thing (or not so crazy for a runner) is that all I could think of is them fixing me up quickly so I could continue my run.?Apparently, I had no idea as to the extent of my injuries!?

After three weeks in the hospital, multiple surgeries, and additional visits for blood clots developed from a sedentary lifestyle, I went from running 40 miles a week to sitting in a wheelchair.?I felt as though my life had ended. The doctor said I would never run again.?In fact, he said I would be lucky if I walked without a limp.

I vividly remember watching through the peephole in the door at life going on around me…without me. Whereever the nurse placed me for the day is where I was stuck. I could not move. I couldn’t even pull myself around on the floor.

My goal of moving up from marathons to ultras soon changed to getting off the bedpan and going to the bathroom on my own; taking a shower by myself and the biggest challenge was eventually using the walker.?After that monumental step, I had to learn to walk all over again.?I never knew the soles of your feet could be so sensitive.?And I thought I had a high pain threshold!?After all, I am a marathon runner!?No way. There were times all I could do was lock myself in the bathroom and scream until the pain subsided.?Being an athlete, I had the advantage of a healthy body; I had courage and determination, but what I needed to learn how to develop was strength with balance in mind/body/spirit.

FLASH AHEAD – It’s been over a decade of recovery, challenges and setbacks.?What I've learned is this accident was the biggest tragedy and greatest blessing in my life.?I was forced to spend time with myself.?To face my darkest fears and internal confessions. The people I thought would be there for me weren’t and those I never even thought of showed up.?I had no idea I was loved by so many.?I never knew I had so much courage, endurance and determination either.?There was never any thought of “not running.”?That thought never registered no matter how much doom and gloom the doctor made me feel. ?

After 1 1/2 years I started running again; doing what I love; and without a limp.?I decided to throw out all of my trophies, except for my prices marathon ones, and start over. After all, it was a new life - new challenges! I ran my first race, a 15K hilly course through roads and trails called Indian Trails, which happen to fall a day after the three-year anniversary of my accident!?I was stunned that I ran only 5 minutes slower than my best time and took 1st?place in my division with a time of 1:16:04. Race after race, I regained those trophies I discarded with new pride. I even managed a few more marathons!

But running isn't about the competition and winning as much as I've learned it's the catharsis I undergo with every run. Step by step gratitude replaces and discomfort, inconvenience or regret. I run with the JOY of knowing the gift I have received is my life AND being given a new life to realize each experience; every heartbreak, disappointment or pain I have faced were side-steps to lessons that brought me miracles I would never have faced before.