When real truth hurts you

Is the truth always painful? Not always. But often there is pain when realizing certain truths. The pain doesn't come from the truth, though. It comes from the shattering of illusions in our minds. The pain we experience at the moment our illusions are shattered may be felt for a short time. Or the hurt may linger until the emotions we've invested in the illusion lessen. During these times, we feel deeply affected. We feel unsettled and uncomfortable. Without illusions, the truth doesn't evoke pain in us. So again, the truth isn’t the source of our discomfort. It is a false belief, the illusion, that is reacting to the truth.

What are some truths that hurt? One of the biggies is coming to the realisation that other people don’t value us as highly as we value ourselves. When I was a kid I wanted to be popular; it hurt when I realised that was never going to happen. I was the ugly duckling who wanted to be a swan, but instead I grew up to be a goose. I can live with that. There’s much truth in the quote from a 1980s desk calendar that said: “It is worth noting that the entire population of the universe, with one insignificant exception, is comprised of others.”

Think about the emotions you feel when you discover that someone you cared for is not who you thought they were. The image of them in your mind shatters into a thousand pieces, and.the emotions attached to that image flood your mind. Pain can also come from judging and criticizing ourselves as a reaction to our realization. When we realize we've believed in something that isn't true, our inner critic emerges to admonish us for being stupid or making a big mistake.

Listening to our inner critic is painful. It's a rejection of self. Imagine an inner dialogue like this: ‘How could I be so stupid to believe he/she was sincere.’ What is painful isn't the realization that we believed a lie. It's the reaction to this realization that causes the pain. The way to deal with this is through awareness. Awareness of the truth helps us break free of illusions that cause pain. Greater awareness helps us to avoid pain and leads to greater happiness as it opens our eyes to the truth and results in fewer illusions to react to.

When the truth hurts, that’s precisely when it can be the most helpful. Though it’s tempting to deny or avoid such painful truths, your best choice is to pay close attention. The friend who points out the truth even when that truth is painful to hear, is a real friend. For when you’re encouraged to acknowledge the reality of the situation, you can begin to successfully deal with it. Listen carefully when the truth hurts. You’ll gain the wisdom to avoid even greater pain in the future. The painful truth is doing you a favor. It’s providing you an opportunity to make a change for the better.

When the truth hurts, be thankful it has gotten your attention. Seize the powerful opportunity that gives you, and go forward with it. Decide to transform the pain of truth into the energy of determination. Feel the painful truth, then let its power set you free and push you ahead. Consider this that life is not a love boat ride. From the time we are born, we are bombarded with untrue thinks such as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. In our modern world, parents who want to protect their children from everyone and everything sometimes inadvertently harm them by placing them in a perpetual state of delusion.

The world is no place for the weak and timid, and the sooner children are aware of this fact, the better off they will be in terms of facing the harsh realities of life. Understanding this is painful for both children and adults alike. Quite often, the truth about everyday things is painful to except when faced with the fact that long-standing beliefs are found to be inaccurate when held up to objective reasoning backed up by empirical evidence. Clinging to deep held false believes that empirical scrutiny can expose can be difficult for one accept. Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Cheers!