When Is Quitting Ok?

The verb “quit” conjures negative connotations. Nobody respects a “quitter”. The internet is filled with articles about the player who quit on his team and we all have had an employee quit, leaving our respective organizations in a lurch.

I have been thinking about the word “quit” a lot lately. Let me tell you why.

My sister, Susan, died of cancer about 4.5 years ago. She was 64 at the time. Two years ago, I decided to honor her memory (and get myself in shape prior to my 60th birthday) by doing the Pan Mass Challenge bike ride. The Pan Mass Challenge is the nation’s oldest and largest charitable sporting event and supports the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, the center where my sister received treatment. The ride has various starting points, but in 2019, I rode from just outside Boston to Provincetown, MA, located at the very end of Cape Cod.

While the training was hard, riding in the Pan Mass Challenge was a life changing event for me. It was inspirational to meet so many folks who had either overcome cancer or had been severely impacted by the disease and who had chosen not to quit, but to fight. I cannot express in words the impact of witnessing thousands of riders and volunteers coming together for a singular purpose: to help eradicate cancer. I was hooked and immediately registered for the 2020 ride.

Of course, 2020 brought us a global pandemic and resulted in the Pan Mass Challenge being cancelled and re-imagined. The battle against cancer had to continue, even while the world also waged war against COVID. I trained hard with a new team last summer and the team’s plan was to do a series of local rides to honor our sponsors and raise money for Dana Farber. And then, last July, in my last training ride before my team’s first local ride, I hit a pothole in the road and fell, breaking my right collarbone and having surgery a week later.

Fortunately, my recovery from surgery has gone smoothly, with no complications. I got back on my Peloton in September. In January 2021, I received the registration for the 2021 Pan Mass Challenge and I immediately registered. There was no way I was going to let an injury define me and I was determined to stop riding only on my terms. The last thing I wanted to be was a quitter.

So here I am in the beginning of July and the Pan Mass Challenge is right around the corner. I have gone out to my shed several times to get my road bike and pump up the tires and begin my training. Each time, I have looked at the bike and all I can remember is my fall and the ride in the ambulance to the hospital. And you know what else bothers me? Every time, and I mean every time, I tell someone about my bike accident, the person relates a story about a friend or a friend of a friend, who had a similar experience and is now paralyzed, brain damaged or dead!!

So now you know why I have been thinking about the word “quit” so much lately. Rational thought, and my wife, have been telling me that my days of road biking should be at an end and that I was really lucky to have only broken my collarbone. While I recognize the truth of those statements, the thought of quitting leaves me with a true feeling of guilt about not riding, because I know how hard the folks afflicted with cancer fight and how hard the healthcare providers at Dana Farber work to find a cure for this disease.

Through my internal vetting process, I have gradually come to realize that not all quitting is bad – people do applaud folks who quit smoking or drinking or eating between meals. Thus, I have decided to “quit” feeling guilty about quitting!! Instead, I am proud to say that I am “retiring” from road biking, not quitting.

As I think about my personal decision to “retire” from biking, I wonder if folks pondering the retirement decision in the workplace suffer the same internal conflicts? Will I feel guilty when it is my time to quit? I suppose all I can do is give every day my best, until I know I cannot rationally justify going forward, at which time I hope I can take solace in a job well done. And to my three colleagues who have recently crossed that bridge and bid us adieu (Eileen, Laurel and Kathy), I wish you great happiness with your decision. ?

Finally, because the battle against cancer continues on, I will honor my commitment to the 2021 Pan Mass Challenge by riding 160 miles (approximately the same distance as the actual ride) on my Peloton during the period July 24 through August 8, 2021.?If you would like to support me in this effort, send me a note and I will get you the information on how you can do so.

In the meantime, anyone want to buy a bike??