When Players Question Coaching Decisions: Turning Tension into Team Building
At some point in your coaching career, you are going to have athletes question, and even disagree with, your decisions. That’s okay—you just have to navigate it properly so that it doesn’t happen often and doesn’t have negative effects. Believe it or not, it is actually good that players disagree with some of our decisions, because at least then I know they are thinking and caring about what is going on with the team. I am not referring to belligerent, disrespectful, insubordinate actions or speech—that is a discipline problem. Today, we are talking about a player simply disagreeing with a coaching decision and communicating that question openly and honestly. This questioning should be encouraged and welcomed!
It is how we react to the disagreement that will make or break the situation. First, a coach must communicate the culture of the team. That should have happened before this instance, so that the questioning player and the team know the mindset from which you made your decision. Second, you must communicate why you made this particular decision. What are/were the factors that led you to your conclusion?
Thirdly, ask your player what he/she would have done, and listen openly and honestly to their response. A good coach cannot allow pride to shut down discourse with a player. Remember, the player is actively thinking and caring about the team, game, or situation. Win that moment! Hear them out, and dialogue about the positive and negative points the player made. Sometimes kids can have a pretty good perspective on things and help us get better as coaches!
Unless the player completely changed your thinking with their input, you now have to rectify the situation and get them to buy into your decision. If they did change your thinking, admit it, thank them, and tell them how much you appreciate their input. Show your human side—we all make mistakes. That is a growth opportunity unlike any other!
But if your confidence is still in your decision (which it should be!), and you must defend it, restate why you made the decision. Explain that decision-making requires considering many pieces of information and factors, and that you try to do it with the best interest of the player and the team at all times. Reemphasize that you must have your players’ trust to lead them. Ask this player to trust you to do what is best for them and the team.
Lastly, understand that this is a teachable moment! Do not take it personally. Kids see through that insecurity quickly! A good coach must have the confidence to handle criticism and questioning (we’ll get a lot of it!) of our decisions, even when it comes from our own players. The important thing to remember is that people in the stands or newspaper writers may not have you and your team’s best interest at heart when they question or criticize. A player questioning should have the team’s and coach’s best interest at heart, if the culture has been built beforehand. Praise the athlete for thinking, and for having the confidence to verbalize concerns. Those two things are highly valuable skills for champions!
Don’t shy away from players questioning your coaching. Teach through the questions and learn with them as a team. Most times, a player simply needs to hear that you have good reasons for what you did, and that it fits in with the culture you have built. Emotions in the moment can cause athletes to dislike decisions—it doesn’t mean they disagree with them. Teach through these moments and use them to fuel growth, leading to bigger moments later in your season!