When personality clashes go viral...

I was listening to a podcast on my drive to North Carolina Monday called, Hysterical.??

I was driving along, thrilled there was no traffic in sight, when the host said something that instantly grabbed my attention:?

“There’s a fine line between contagion and connection.”?

He was referring to a phenomenon where students were “giving” each other verbal and physical tics. It was fascinating, but it made me think of something entirely different—how contagious certain behaviors can be within a team dynamic.

When you put a mix of personalities together in a work environment, things can get... complicated. Some behaviors can spread like wildfire, pulling down the energy of the room. But here’s the thing—you don’t have to let that happen.?

You can turn that negative energy into something that binds the team together.?

Instead of spreading frustration, you can use it as a signal for connection.

It’s no secret that in any group, personalities will clash. And that’s where the danger of contagion creeps in. Have you ever noticed how one person’s anxiety or frustration can ripple through a team? It’s almost like you can feel the morale sinking. But instead of letting that energy fester, you have the opportunity to pause, dig deeper, and figure out what’s really happening.

This is where the Enneagram comes into play. The Enneagram reveals how each of us sees the world, how we react under stress, and why certain clashes happen. Understanding this can be the difference between contagion and connection.

Take an Enneagram 3 and a 6, for example. The 3’s relentless drive for achievement can come off as dismissive to the more cautious, security-focused 6. The 6 might feel unsupported or even anxious, which only fuels their tendency to overthink. The 3, meanwhile, becomes frustrated by what they perceive as unnecessary doubt. Left unchecked, this can turn into a contagion of distrust, as neither feels validated or understood.

Or consider the clash between a Type 2 and a Type 5. The 2 thrives on connection and helping others, while the 5 prefers to maintain boundaries and solve problems from a distance. The 2 might interpret the 5’s need for space as coldness, while the 5 could feel overwhelmed by the 2’s attempts to “help.” Again, the emotional tension builds, and that disconnect can easily spread across the team.

But here’s the shift—

What if these tensions were a call to action? A call to dig deeper, get curious, and truly connect? What if, instead of reacting to frustration, we asked ourselves: What’s really going on here? This shift in thinking is key. Connection doesn’t just happen… it requires us to move past our initial reactions and look for the deeper motivations behind people’s behavior.

In a team setting, when we take the time to understand one another—whether through tools like the Enneagram or simple conversations—we unlock the potential for connection. That Type 3 can learn to appreciate the 6’s foresight as a balancing force to their ambition. The 6 can come to see the 3’s drive as inspiring rather than threatening. The 2 can find comfort in the 5’s thoughtful problem-solving, while the 5 learns that the 2’s need to help comes from a place of genuine care, not intrusion.

There’s no magic formula for perfect team equilibrium, but it starts with awareness. The fine line between contagion and connection is razor-thin, but it’s there. We just have to be willing to cross it—one conversation, one moment of understanding, at a time.

Cheers to Growth!

Hillarie Kay

If you’re ready to talk about bringing the Enneagram into your team, I have a couple more openings for 2024, and am now book for 2025!? Simply click here to schedule a time to chat about the opportunity.