When people treat you as a last option

I am blessed with friends who made me realize that a healthy kind of relationship will never make you feel burdened. We understand that we all have to look for our parents and all so we don't pressure anyone and don't complain. We don't talk for few days and even months but still greet each other like it was yesterday, and we are always available for each other in the time of need. At last I would say that don't take it seriously. The more we take this things seriously the more insecure we feel and the more we get entangled to this kinds of thoughts.

When people treat you as an option ? Then just treat them as nobody. This phase of life comes in everybody's life I think that by my own personal experience. One of my friend is in love with a boy, but that boy see's her as an option, she always wanted to be on his side but he doesn't think of her. He always goes to her if no one was there for him or when he feel bored. After 3 years of pain she cuts all the ties with him now she's doing great and he is, don't know where he is. Basically the thing is if someone treating you like an option just leave them they will only come to you whenever they see benefit in you. But if you need them they will never show up. So, why you need them. Just go and find someone better who you can trust and leave them.

Every person have their own priority. It doesn't always fall into your side. It's okay if you are someone's option, but it's not okay to act like their minion. You have your own choices. You don't have to underling of that person. Just avoid them. Nothing, everyone is some times an option to turn to for every one. Even you will have people on your list for different needs. Like to party, to go for movie and so on. People have different strengths.

Let me tell you a step by step way out of it. If you want to follow the violent and short advices of other people it is fine. But I am telling you right now the way I will tell you is the gentleman's way and it will be hard. But there are results, I have seen them myself. Meditate a little (I am not talking about sitting in an upright position and meditate for hours). Get yourself in a comfortable position and focus on all the things you feel, the anger, the pain, the sorrow, the need for revenge and if you feel anything else. The point of doing this is to be mindful of what you feel and what is going inside your head. Emotional clarity is a necessary step.

Accept the truth. Now understand something here, it will be hard and painful and in the end it will be worth it. Accept that she doesn't love you, accept that you are wasting your hopes on her, accept that she may never love you. Accept all these things. Cry if you feel like crying, put a pillow on your face and scream if you want to scream but accept these truths.

Forgive her and yourself. Now your anger against her and against yourself will begin to calm down. At that point get into a comfortable position and relax. Take a few deep breaths and say to yourself “I forgive her for what she has done and i forgive myself for what mistakes i have made” (I am not saying that she was a mistake, but you would feel that way). Forgiveness does not mean that you have to go to her and say i forgive you and then trust her again. It just means that you have made peace with yourself and your emotions and your reality. That you have move forward those violent and angry thoughts. That you are at peace with yourself.

Work on yourself. Now at this point you are a lot better and feeling a lot free. This is the golden time. Find out all the things you would like to improve in yourself and work on them. Improving English, improving your confidence, learning public speaking, improving your personality etc. This is important for you because you are doing this for yourself not for others. To make your life and yourself better. Don't be trapped in the dogma that “i am good as i am”. No matter who you are there is always something you can improve about yourself. A great man always knows that he is great at nothing and works on improving himself more and more. That is how champions are made my friend. That is your time to make yourself into a great mam.

I hope all this helped you. Trust me I have tried many things and these are the ones that are the most beneficial of all. These are the ones that worked. There are the true practical methods. The choice is yours, do you want to make yourself better or do you just want to be that jerk of a guy that just sits and cries and plans on taking a revenge. The choice is yours. He’s using you as his “security blanket” and “safety net”. Note my use of the word “using”. That’s right, he’s actually using you. If he really cared for you and about you, he would forget about “the other girls” and just focus on you.

Did you know that you are an awesome person? Did you know that you deserve to be loved and cared for and to be “number one” in someone’s life? Did you know that there’s no one like you in this whole world, and that this guy is treating you as if you are just some “common” second-choice who’s not worth so much? I strongly suggest you kick this guy out of your life. I know you like him a lot and wish that he was just yours, but he’s keep you dangling by just coming to you when he needs comfort. That’s abusive. You deserve much, much, much better than that. In fact, you owe it to yourself to “upgrade” to liking / loving a guy who will make you the focus of his life. But, until you give this guy the flick and let yourself “look around”, you won’t meet and be with someone who treats you better.

A lot of us settle for second best for many reasons. You do, I do, many of us do. Often, it’s because we don’t love ourselves and believe lies about ourselves, like the fact that we aren’t really that lovable and that we just need to accept whatever “love” we can get. That’s not true. Please be kind to yourself and move away from this guy. You can do better. You will do better. And when you look back on this time in a few years, you’ll wonder why you put up with this crazy situation. Blessings to you, my friend. You are awesome! You’re fantastic! You are smart and loving and kind. Please find someone who is worth your heart and attention. Cheers!