When Nobody Wins .....

As parents, we live in hope of our children growing up happy, healthy and good. We sacrifice gladly for their better good, we love them, guide them and give them the best of ourselves. Yet, all of that care and commitment does not provide any surety that their lives will be as we had hoped. They have the power to choose their own path through life. Over their choices, we, as parents, have no control. This standard of love applies not only in Ireland but all over the world. We all have dreams for our children, sadly, sometimes life does not work out as we'd planned.

With the recent verdict of Guilty handed down by the Jury in the Ana Kriegel murder case, an air of overwhelming sadness and anger permeates the air. A beautiful young girl who had her whole life ahead of her has been denied the opportunity to grace the world with her presence. At just 14 years old, she was only beginning to know what the world could hold for her. Her murder, a tragedy on a national scale. Hearing the evidence presented by the prosecution, I cannot fathom how or why this could have happened. I'm sure we are all the same, nobody can hear it and remain unaffected.

Ana was adopted from Russia by her adoring parents when she was just 2 years old. All reports would suggest that she danced to the beat of her own drum, was mature beyond her years and was aptly described as a “Siberian Warrior who was a vulnerable girl inside”. According to her Mother "Nobody ever called for Ana". This young girl was set apart from the crowd. Social exclusion breeds vulnerability, without a support network of peers, every child is a vulnerable child.

Ana was the victim of a deadly game, her death at the hands of two 13 year old schoolboys is the stuff of nightmares. The general anger and revulsion felt here is to be expected but it does not help those directly affected. Can we find ways to positively support all of our children, regardless of their differences, their quirks and their mixed abilities? Teaching children that compassion and acceptance are not a show of weakness, might just help make a kinder world for all. It really does seem to be a world gone mad.

In regards to the parents of the boys, I can only imagine the depth of their suffering would be almost on a par with Ana’s parents. It’s an inherent part of human nature to attribute blame and find reasons for that which is beyond comprehension. I wouldn’t even try to reason it. Please remember their heartbreak and burden also. No parent would ever predict this for their child. An old Irish saying that springs to mind "There is a slippery rock outside everyone's door"....

Ana will never be forgotten, anyone who has known of the story, heard news reports on the radio, or read published articles about this case will never forget it. For Ana’s little brother, her parents, extended family and all who loved her, we send you our heartfelt sympathy. For those of us who are parenting teens, the fear is real. We wish you and your children safe passage through life. Now that the truth has been made known, I hope that Ana’s spirit can rest in peace and that her parents and brother can begin to rebuild their lives. In this sad case, nobody wins. Sleep well Ana.