When my money becomes our money!

Money can stir a whole lot of emotions as it means status, comfort, freedom and hence it is all about how we live, how and where we want to spend, and our saving habits. It is going to impact all the choices we make right from when to go for a kid, what to buy first- a house or car, when to retire and how much to save for rainy days. Discussing about money values, lifestyle choices, any debts, or obligations towards the family is important before we tie the knot. Sounds unromantic for sure, but it is a crucial conversation to have!

Couples with dual income must discuss money. The decision for one of them to explore entrepreneurial skills or wife taking a break after delivery should be a joint decision. Agree on a timeline when both will review the decision so that you are aligned on the pros and cons about the choices you make. Many a times, we choose to keep silent, waiting for the right moment to have that conversation.

A good place to start is a joint account for bills, groceries, school fees, home repairs and the likes where you track the outflow, make those adjustments, and get things moving. Having said that, every spend need not be discussed, it is important to allow for privacy and maintain some independence. Each spouse must have his or her kitty to fall back on and must ensure that part of the savings is invested in their names. Let us also tell ourselves that it is not practical to agree on all goals. Conflicts will simmer and priorities will differ. Set mutually agreed limits when you find it difficult to resolve amicably- it could be support to your siblings or an expensive holiday with friends. There has to be ‘our money’ (rather than mine vs. yours) for long term important goals that cannot be compromised like kids’ education, retirement plans or investments made in property or gold.

Couple goals are not just about a great holiday in Maldives or the Valentine dinner date or that public declaration of a perfect relationship. It is also about setting some time aside to discuss money goals, an annual date to review and make some joint decisions on where to invest and where to spend. It all starts with a conversation!

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