When my boss said you are no longer wanted!

As humans we are accustomed to admiration. Attack with harsh criticism and there we are with our self confidence blown out.

Sure you relate!

Professional life prior to attaining my motherhood revolved around targets, mad work culture, collaboration butchered by competition, rat race to ace, zero work life balance and I was a part of it just contributing towards making the place even more gruesome just by being a silent participant.All I wanted was to climb the corporate ladder and to get there fast before somebody else did. While all this effort didn’t go in vain. It came with my share of promotions, accolades, flimsy incentives but never did I realize I was approaching my moment of epiphany.

When I decided to walk back my way into the corporate jungle after attaining motherhood I sure didn’t know I was invading into unchartered territory. Postpartum physiological changes, sleepless nights and mood swings had not been successful in shaking my unwavering spirit.The day I joined back I walked confidently towards my little space where I had spent days and nights working my a*s out.The place I could proudly call my first home…only to realize that my 6-by-6 foot home was taken over and the invader was right in front of me. How could she escape my unwavering stare.She was already dying of guilt. Suddenly my etiquettes a result of years of strong upbringing took over and whispered to me if I could be a little more gracious.Having shown my gracious self I was left with little choice but to wander around the office looking for a vacant space to realize all the cubicles close to my team was taken.Thankfully the HR took notice of this and asked me to adjust somewhere.This was enough for my first day after maternity. I thought meeting my more than half a decade old team would alleviate the shock of losing my workspace. While I was expecting a warm welcome my team was clearly irreverant of my presence.Well I had heard “Out of sight is out of mind” I was clearly unaware of what was going on. I thought it was time I needed to meet my boss who wasn’t very welcoming the first time I spoke to him over a call before joining.His first question was: If I could still spare the same amount of work hour with an infant to take care of? As far as I understand motherhood does bring some physiological changes but doesn’t really affect your potential and soft skills I responded.A performer remains a performer.But never did I know my destiny was already written in bold but I wasn’t able to read it. The Day Of Judgement arrived after 3 days post I joined back. That’s was the first interaction I had with my boss after I joined back work.My boss without any delay said the words I never wanted to hear:

“You have been a great performer through out but we are not sure if you can give time to your work.Don't lose heart because the silver-line is you can be with your baby”.

I was offered to join a different vertical which had nothing to do with my past work experience or specialisation and neither did I have any plans of making a career in it.

The corporate I knew had this face too and while the world was moving towards flexible work schedule for new mothers and other programs to make the come back easy for new mothers, my long earned credibility was lost to my newly attained motherhood.How can motherhood which taught me the lessons to be tough not fragile, to be patient not antsy, to be diligent not casual, within a short span of 9 months make me weak, I wondered. I returned home with my head hanging low…

I looked into the twinkling bright eyes of my baby girl and there it was, my moment of epiphany. As if the long lost wisdom had dawned upon me. I knew what I had to do.Without any second thought I bid adieu to the workplace I knew was my first home.

I realized all my years of upbringing, my learnings, my hardwork, my experience, my credibility, my very construction of who I am would be superfluous if I give up to such insensible misogynistic criticism.What I faced is happening and could happen to any women on the brim of motherhood or having stepped into it already.

My idea of sharing an episode from my life was not to leave you dewy eyed but to help you take the lessons from it.Had this adversity not hit me I would have never landed where I am today. You find your true self only when you allow yourself to be lost.

Your way to find the real you is through adversity.Adversity polishes us & helps us shine.You need to go through the pain to gain.When you are sinking you are actually pushing hard with all you have and eventually you make it to the surface.You learn to swim only when you are thrown into water.Standing on the banks you would always toggle between tomorrow and day after.

Criticism acts like dopamine.It motivates you to think and innovate.Adversity and Criticism if taken properly can help turn around your life.

1) There are lot of dormant goals which lie beneath.They would never surface unless they are forced to.Criticism and adversity force us to dive deep inside and let those dormant goals to vent out.If life goes smoothly you would barely make any effort to change things because you get used to the cushion.

2) Criticism and adversity push our limits.We try to stretch beyond our comfort zone.It empowers us to achieve what used to be impossible.Its all ingrained in the psyche.You try to look beyond with a hope to better things for yourself.

3) You start believing in your inner voice.You have been putting those thoughts under wraps but now you start believing in them. There is one good thing about losing that you no more fear to lose.There is no chain that is holding you back.No fear of losing your job, no worry of being embarrassed, no fear of your life going off track.See an opportunity in the lose.A chance to do what you could never do.

4) Don’t go after the critic.Its not your job.This will deviate you from the bigger agenda you are made to accomplish. Adversity teaches you to forgive and move on in search of your true potential.Once discovered there is no stopping you.You need to draw boundaries.Vicious criticism will grow with your burgeoning success.Learn to ignore them and move on.

5) Adversity solidifies your conviction.You learn to take chances and they eventually start showing results strengthening your self belief.You learn to run with your own passion, self belief and instinct.Trees which survive the storm have deep roots and you realize this only after you have faced the storm.

Use criticism and adversity in your favour. Treat it as one more chance.Its easy to let go but difficult to hold on.Any women reading this I sincerely urge you not lose faith in yourself and your capabilities.Use these 9 months to upgrade your skills or learn something new.This is the best time to do a course that you have been putting on the back burner or do a research on a new idea before jumping in.Don’t be afraid to create something that doesn’t exist.If you see an opportunity, take it and never look back.Am sure you will never regret taking the decision.

Rejection is an opportunity to find yourself never to lose again.

Subhra Mohanty is a motivational speaker, corporate consultant and protagonist for making the workplace better for women.If need an advice or have a question please connect with me on social media.

Follow on Social Media: @shubhralive