When mind is stable, will be at peace

Firstly, please believe that mental peace is already there in you and in everyone of us. We just need to be aware and realise. There is nothing to get from outside for mental peace. Peace is a pure mental phenomenon (Perhaps that is why you wrote mental peace in your question). Just try to loosen up your efforts to have control on the life. Our mind is feverishly active and we try to control our circumstances mentally. For example, we may visualise situation changing to whatever suits us.

This may even be for past event already happened and the mind desires that the same would have happened differently. It gives us a temporary false comfort and delusion that we can control the circumstances or the life as such. Frequently, during the day, try to loosen up this control. You will feel the peace inside you. Try to be in the present moment. This is an age-old advice. Any effort to be in mental peace will either arise from your being the present moment or will lead to it. Read the book Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle if you have not read already.

Simplify your life as much as practically possible. Desires make us to depend more on the outside circumstances and materials. According to Buddha, desires are the cause of pain and suffering in our life. Personally, whenever, I notice my mind to be tight, I just say internally ‘relax’ and let go. Something relaxing dawns upon my mind. I am relaxed at least for some time. Stop beating yourself or self-criticism for what you have said/should have or done/should have done. It is one of the main reasons to keep us disturbed. Nothing happens without reason. We have to learn, grow and move on. Life is too short to continue to carry such burdens and there is no reason to do so.

Don’t give too much importance to what others think or would think about you. Nobody has bothers ultimately. Everyone is busy with their own life and solving their problems. The mind is the very thing that disturbs the peace. Before the mind comes along and evaluates what is happening, can anything be wrong? Before the mind, whatever is happening is just happening. It just is. Thus, it is ultimately the mind that overlays the idea of good and bad, right and wrong onto reality. Good and bad, right and wrong don’t exist out there in the physical world. And even thought they are 100% produced by the mind, the mind still insists that it had nothing to do with it, that what we’re experiencing is reality itself.

This is the mind’s very nature - you don’t have a faulty mind! Since this is what the mind naturally does, there is no more point in trying to change it than there is to get a cat to bark. What’s useful is to simply understand the nature of the mind - not its contents. Then begin to investigate what comes before the mind. What sees the mind? What was there before the mind started running its never-ending commentary and evaluation about the person or situation? Look there, and peace of mind will soon be your companion. What I am suggesting here is that the mind is always the source of all mental disturbances and the suffering.

It all starts with accepting what you can’t change or what’s not in your control. Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t just benefit the person you forgive. It could do even more for you, in the end. Make time for yourself. Priorities self-care. Value and respect your parents. Let yourself heal and bounce back stronger and better. Don't put yourself through too much stress. Know that every little effort counts. Don’t Fight Reality. Certain things in life just are not going to change. Rather than battle with them in your mind, accept that they will be what they are and move on. Take the example of a man who wishes to be six feet tall, yet stops growing several inches short of that mark. Is there anything that can be done to change that reality? I don’t think so. Rather than lamenting his lack of height, he can accept himself for what he is and appreciate the advantages of being shorter.

Get Outside. Nature is naturally peaceful – and does a great job of transferring that peace into us. Make an effort to spend time in a tranquil outdoor place as often as possible. Seek out a beautiful setting that is removed from man made noise like traffic and cell phones. Large city parks or even campgrounds outside of town are good places to look for your own little piece of serenity. Smile More. As simple as it sounds, sharing a smile with other people is a great way to find peace within. When you connect more with those around you, the world seems like a better place to live as a whole. Next time you are at the grocery store, try smiling at people as they pass by. You will likely receive more than a few smiles back, and everyone will feel better – and more at peace – than they did when they walked in. Simple steps such as this go a long way toward mental peace when they become part of your daily routine.

Live Right Now. If you are always looking off in the distance for what is to come, you will never truly be at peace. Whatever you are doing, try your best to be mentally present and give it all of your attention. The future is by definition uncertain, and therefore can be scary and unsettling. Push future plans out of your mind in favor of a ‘here-and-now’ mindset. You will be amazed at the sense of peace that can come from just living each moment for what it is. Focus on Others. A powerful way to gain peace is to give of your time and efforts to a cause outside of yourself. Pick a local charity like a food bank and volunteer on a regular basis. Knowing you are working for a cause that helps others who are less fortunate is a great feeling. When you go home at night you will feel pride, accomplishment, and inner peace knowing the world is slightly better because of your service.

Meditate. This last point can be the easiest, and the most successful, way to find inner peace. In order to feel at peace, you need to look inside and find what really makes you happy. During the constant noise and distraction that is daily life, there is no time to think quietly about what you want to get out of your days. Making a habit of regular meditation will give you a chance to access your true thoughts, and will lead you to a greater sense of inner peace. Cheers!