When Mentorship Isn't Enough

Have you ever reached a point in your career where you knew something needed to change but you didn’t know what?

The advice you were reading about and receiving from designer friends, colleagues and mentors was shallow, at best. Not for a lack of effort from them or lack a desire by them to help, but they just weren’t equipped to help you resolve the issues you are facing. You needed something deeper, more personal, more results-oriented to help you discover and resolve the root of your career issues. 

I know I have. In 2018, after more than 12 years in the industry, I was deeply burned out as a Senior UX designer. I didn’t have the physical strength or emotional tools to help me recover and overcome my burnout, nor was the team I was on, able or willing to help me deal with what I was feeling. After grinding for more than 5 years and seeking help in the only way I knew how at the time, I came to realize that I could not heal in an environment that was actively triggering me. 

Keep in mind, during the past few years as I was experiencing the burnout as a result of being bullied and not heard by those in my management team, I reached out to mentors to try and figure out what I could do to change my situation. Their advice was to focus on networking, customize resumes for jobs I was interested in, update my portfolio, and practice my interviewing and presentation skills so that I could get a new design job somewhere else. I did those things and invested time, money and energy only to have nothing come of it. 

The advice I got from mentors, while not bad on the surface, didn’t actually result in my solving my issues. It was generic, focusing more on the hard skills and tactics, not on getting to the root of the issue so I could resolve it. I needed someone who could empathize with me, and who had tools and techniques that I could use to process my emotions in a safe and healthy manner. 

That skillset is not something you typically find with a mentor. You are more like to get that kind of support from a coach - specifically one with training in how to help you process the thoughts, feelings and emotions that hold you back from taking action to change what’s limiting you. 

I ended up leaving my corporate job in order to preserve my sanity, because HR and the management team in the organization I was a part of refused to offer any real assistance, even after I filed HR complaints against my boss and a toxic co-worker, who loved to refer to himself as a walking HR violation. I asked if I could move to another team, or if I could work remotely even part-time so that I wasn’t constantly subjected to the people who were causing me pain. Their answer was no. Even after filing my HR complaints, no real mental health support was offered to help me deal with my trauma and burnout. I realized then the only chance I had to heal from this toxic culture was to leave. So that’s what I did. 

After that, I invested in myself, and spent the next 3 years gaining the training, tools, and techniques I needed to overcome that burnout and emotional trauma. I decided that I would be the person who I wish I had discovered 5 years ago. The person who could not only listen and empathize with my struggles, but who also could guide me through the process of healing from my burnout and who could help me process the unresolved negative emotions that remained stuck in my body.

As I began to heal and place strong, healthy boundaries around my life, I gained confidence in sharing my story and using the pain I’d experienced to fuel my desire to help others. I wanted to help others like me break free from their own personal toxic roller coaster. I started writing, publishing my first book Reawaken: 10 actions to take back a very intense ownership of your life. By accepting my past and sharing it, it gave me the chance to reclaim my voice that had been silenced for so many years. 

I also trained in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) where I learned a bunch of tools and techniques to better manage my emotions, gain confidence in my own abilities, and learned how to more effectively communicate with others. It showed me how to build trust and rapport with other people, how to help myself and others get unstuck when they are feeling overwhelmed or at a loss of what to do, and so much more. It’s these tools and my own wisdom from my life experiences that I bring to my coaching clients. 

Maybe this article resonates with you. You too could be working in a job that doesn’t serve or support you in a healthy manner. You want to change but you don’t know how. Maybe it’s time to consider hiring a UX career coach. 

Why invest in UX coaching?

“Normies, normal people, spend time to save money. But successful people? Successful people spend money to save time.”

—Giovanni Vincenzo Romaniello

Coaching helps you fast track your success. It saves you time, money and energy by giving you access to someone who can guide you to where you want to go faster than if you do it yourself. If you are an ambitious designer, having a coach is a must. Look at other industries and professions. Coaching is a $2 billion+ dollar industry and is continuing to rise. Top executives, athletes, performers, and business owners all invest in coaching because they know it will bring them the clarity they need to take action and get to their goals faster than if they try to do so on their own. Their time is valuable, so they prioritize having the right kinds of people around them to mitigate their risk and help them leapfrog over their competition when the opportunity presents itself. If they do it, shouldn't you consider it to help you get to your next step in your career?

Keep in mind, coaching is not a quick fix. We are not magic genies you meet with once and all your career problems are solved. Any coach who promises that is trying to sell you something, and not something good. We are a partner, a confidante, and a guide who ideally has your best interests in mind and is determined to everything we can to help you make that dream a reality. That's how I see my role as a UX Coach - part friend, part cheerleader, and part therapist whose mission is to help you confidently navigate your career to the level of your authentic ambition.

What should you look for from a career coach?

Look for a coach who is a cheerleader, who you can lean on to see the potential in you when you can't see it in yourself. Look for someone who is really good at asking smart questions related to your current issue and will hold you accountable for what you commit to completing. Look for someone who understands your struggle and can empathize with the challenges you face, but will also push you to keep moving forward toward the goal you've established for yourself.

Discover how they work - in person, remote, session lengths, etc... - to help you gain the clarity you need to take your next step forward and reach your goal. 

Career coaches are not magicians or miracle workers who can guarantee that if you work with them you will get a certain outcome. We are guides who walk along side you and ask the hard questions to get you to really dig deep, so you can figure out what’s at the root of your issue. If you do the work and trust the process, you will see results. Maybe even better results than you can imagine.

Good career coaches will tell you what they are an expert in and what can help you with. Depending on what you need help with, you may need to speak with a couple of different coaches. Some focus exclusively on creating the perfect portfolio, others on resume writing and cover letters, still others may focus on interview prep and how to present your design work well. Each coach will have their specialty, their niche market that they are equipped and passionate to serve. 

Beware of any coach that tries to take on too many specialties or guarantees you an outcome. You want to work with someone whose clearly focused on and experienced with solving your unique problem not a generalist whose trying to be everything to everyone. 

For example, in my own coaching, if a client is showing that they need a deeper level of support for a current habit that’s causing them trouble - let’s say an eating disorder like bulimia - I’m going to recommend they work with a doctor or nutritionist to help them sort out that issue since I do not specialize in helping others with eating disorders. I may be able to help them by using a few techniques to deal with their mind that relates to their eating disorder, but ultimately they should be working with someone whose expertise is in helping those with eating disorders. The same goes for the issues you want to resolve.

Any coach who guarantees an outcome for you - like helping you get a new job - is trying to scam you. As coaches, we can't make any guarantees because we are not the ones responsible for doing the work in order to see results. We can't do your work for you. We can advise, ask questions, hold you accountable, and walk along side you through your journey, but ultimately the success of your coaching is in your hands.

My mission as a UX coach is to provide ambitious designers with a holistic support system so that they can grow their self-confidence, better their communication skills in order to get that raise, promotion, or new job they've been dreaming of. My coaching is about building deep relationships with my clients so that they know they can come to me whether its they need advice on how to deal with a difficult co-worker, a toxic work environment, or they are ready to pursue that raise or promotion they've been dreaming about for the last couple of years, but weren't sure they were ready to take that next step and pursue it.

How I help my clients:

• I listen to you and help you come up with a goal and action plan
• I help you resolve any beliefs about yourself that are holding you back from taking action to turn your dreams into reality
• I help you resolve any internal conflicts that are affecting your ability to take action in your career
• I help you create and implement action plans so that you can go from being a goal setter to a goal getter
• and so much more...

If you this resonated with you and you are interested in learning more about how I can help you successfully navigate your design career, please book a free 30-minute session.

Own your dreams.

Shanelle

P.S. Don't forget to join me on Facebook in my private Facebook group called Ambitious Designers where I share information, quotes, and host live events about how to navigate in our design careers.