When a man loves
By Peter Wahome wa Ngatia
My brother Nimrod (not Taabu) Khimani got engaged to the love of his life, Esther, at the new, exquisite, urban DJC which is located along Koinange Street. DJC is the newest bouncing, healthy 4lb baby restaurant in Nairobi CBD. It replaced Domino’s in the exact place and building. Check out the next story to know more about DJC.
Back to Khimani. It was just amazing thinking about where this brother came from in his roller coaster with love. We joined first year together in Multimedia University of Kenya and met in the Christian Union during a Christian Freshers Night. He looked mature and I actually thought that he was a third year. The guy is just too grown up for his age. I think he dropped a little late on earth. Three years late approximately.
We started off as shallow friends, proceeded to good friends, roommates, close friends then brothers. We were four of us Timo (Fat hands) Ksticks, Victor, Nim and I.
Nim a Bachelor of Commerce student (BCom), was the cool guy in the group. Every guy’s group has a cool guy who holds things down and is just reasonable. Not crazy, not mean, not doing the stupid stuff, introduces the save your money talk in conversations, the one who cries when he watches happy feet. In other words the most mature one. Nim was that guy.
In our second year of Campus I watched Nim go through a bitter heartbreak that really crippled his emotional stability for a while. It ravaged his heart ravenously like the man eaters of Tsavo and crushed every hope of ever loving again. But “Shift happens” after sh*t happened.
It was all for a good cause. Scripture in Romans 8:28 says all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Nim loved the Lord and was called according to God’s Purpose. He still does today.
After fighting through many tears –real tears (which are very rare for a man) - he slowly but surely walked the journey of healing by accepting the past and embracing that the future is brighter than the sky in the morning sun.
In third year of Campus the concept of families in the Christian Union was introduced. The fellowship of approximately 500 students was divided into three small groups called families namely Faith, Hope and Love. Our brother became the leader of Faith family and it was at this point that a certain pretty, fly, girl-in-technology second year caught his eye. She then proceeded to capture his mind. As if that was enough she stole all of his heart and now she had all of him.
The brother was hopelessly imprisoned by Esther Muigai the Bachelor of Business in Information Technology (BBIT) student. He was now breathing, thinking, eating, sleeping and probably peeing Ess as he loves to call her. In his heart he decided that she was going to be his no matter what. KSticks as a good brother did warn him that Ess was way out of his league because he had ever schooled with Ess many years back. He simply told Nim, “She dates pointies. Cheki ule chali ako naye saa hii. Pointie, cute. Unaona kama unatosha mboga?”
Truth be told Nim himself did have that insecurity but kama moyo ushapenda what do you do? He couldn’t turn back now.
Unbeknownst to him, Ess was also checking the brother out. She had noticed him and had started liking him. This guy is just one lucky man. (Really tried hard to find a non-expletive word that has a certain you-know-which punch.)
Nim would go to Ess’s hostel and get Ess’s bff Tesh to hook him up with his crush. They started talking within no time. During the proposal party Tesh said that Nim would talk to her (Tesh) but in real sense he wanted to “fellowship” with Ess because they slept in the same room. He was really going through because he wanted this lady badly.
On the foundation of friendship and hanging out a lot they one day found themselves sauntering to Chafua (Students’ food shopping center in MMU) to buy supper. Khimani could no longer hold it in and he just told Ess “Me nakulike.” This is as he described it to me. And Nim explains things with all his heart, hands and emotions so I actually got the real picture even if I wasn’t there.
After a long hard silence she responded, “Nakulike pia.” That was when she set off a fire of joy and dynamite of excitement in the guy and he was just high. That is the high that puts weed to shame. It was impossible to contain himself. By the time he explained it to us he was already intoxicated. Women are no joke!
The two started hanging out together a lot and even almost spending the whole day together. Love will make you re-adjust your program even if it’s important. In future during their wedding anniversary they will remind each other.
“Aki si we were in love.”
“Yeah”
“We used to eat together, study together, watch movies together.”
“You remember the way we used to go to the lecture halls at night and do assignments together for a whole semester.”
“Waa aki sindio Ess.”
“Dem good old Campus days.”
Then they toast to each other and kiss before kids demand for attention amidst crying and running around.
They decided to “We like each other so are we doing this thing?”
“Hell yeah we are,”
“This is for life Ess.”
“Let’s do this.”
Esther was explaining to us at their engagement party.
I could not believe that she did not make him wait for her to take two months to think about it. He did not go through 1,000,000 tests and vetting processes. Can you imagine? Some guys went through some grueling vetting and waiting for months before getting that yes. Girls what do you do that for? If you know this is it then just close the deal. What a lucky man! (I know it sounds bland but what are the alternatives? We should invent ours. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.)
So they dated secretly for four months and it was only known to both of them. Then in March 2016 they came out to the public. (The words “Coming out” is a big thing these days).
A beautiful relationship was born four years ago out of that. A tale of friendship, undying love, romance, good times and also bad times.
Like any human relationship a dark cloud cast over them closed in and the relationship broke after 3 years of dating. They spent four months apart and it was tough for Nim. He actually cried. He cried tears of unimaginable pain. Esther too was not having it easy. She bore the pain of it all.
Egos had to be dropped. Everyone had to swallow their pride and admit their mistakes for healing and recovery to happen. Healing happened and God gave them a second golden chance.
Esther explained to me that, ”Phase II is actually much better than Phase I.” They were now more in love with each other than they had ever been. More connected, more mature and moving together as one in the same direction.
Having first gone to see Ess’s parents as a mark of honor and respect for his queen, Nim went down on one knee and asked Esther for her hand in marriage. Ha-ha. She gave him her hand and he slipped the I-don’t-know-how-many karats diamond ring into her left middle finger. Is that the hand-in-marriage?
As true Kenyans are now waiting eagerly to be called to their wedding committee and also going for their ruracio. I hope their kids will one day read this story. It’s meant for them.
My takeaways
Never give up on a good man or a good girl if God gave you one and if they are worth it. Dark times will come and you will at one point not really like each other. You may even break up. But if it’s from God it will bloom like the lilies of the river. Hard times come to make us not destroy us.
Every tear you cry is never meaningless. If you belong to the household of faith. They will count for something.
If you’ve been left or you are suffering heartbreak from someone who didn’t appreciate you this is what Biko Zulu the master told me “In future you will meet someone phenomenal and you will wonder what you were crying over.”
Don’t marry under pressure. Nope. Everything adds up in its rightful time.
Congratulations Ess and Nim on your engagement.