When the Love of Medicine Wanes

When the love of medicine wanes, you must muster every fiber of your strength and sheer willpower to do your job. When the love of medicine wanes, the sound of “Dr.”, when the 100th person is calling your name to attend to something—wears on your nerves. When the love of medicine wanes, when you are in your office, with your door closed, you hit your head against the table because you seriously are regretting your life choice. You regret a lot of the sacrifices you made because, quite frankly, feeling you got the short end of the stick. Wishing you could get your life back and be free.

Well, the above description was once me. I seriously was fed up with medicine. I was fed up working within a healthcare system that I once worked in. I felt like the joy of medicine was being sucked from me. I felt like the weight of a dysfunctional healthcare system was on my back, and I was over it. I felt that I had given my best for over a decade, and when it came to my time to receive compassionate care, in the most vulnerable moments of my life, care was withheld, or care was below standard. I was at the point where I had nothing left to give, and I was done. It was just days later, a female patient left a threatening comment at the office because she wasn’t getting what she wanted, and when she wanted—I finally said to myself, “I quit.” The “dear patient” resignation letter that I had been working on for almost a year was ready to be revealed. I was fed up, I was traumatized, I felt taken advantage of, and it was going to end. Months later, I closed my practice, sold my business, and quite literally, I drove “off into the sunset” literally the same day. To this day, I have zero regrets of closing; the only regret I had was not doing it sooner when I had the opportunity.?

I don’t think my case of being no longer enamored with medicine is a rare thing. Doctors are saying in various ways the same thing—they are done. The most tragic of all is death by suicide. According to the American College of Emergency Physicians, between 300 and 400 physicians die by suicide each year in the United States. Additionally, a 2023 article published by the AMA suggests that suicidal ideation among doctors is largely associated with medical errors and a heavy workload, while suicide itself is linked to depression, emotional exhaustion, impaired relationships, and other factors. Others show they are done by retiring early, choosing a different field in medicine, or taking on non-clinical jobs. Others take on side gigs and explore other career paths. Some physicians reduce their hours.

Work-related burnout is another way in which physicians are speaking. Nearly half of physicians reported experiencing burnout in 2024, according to Medscape’s 2024 physician burnout and depression report. This 49% burnout rate represents a slight decrease from the previous year’s 53%, yet it remains significantly higher than the pre- pandemic level of 44% in 2019.

To create the report, Medscape surveyed over 9,200 physicians of different ages across 29-plus specialties. The specialties with the highest rates of burnout include emergency medicine (63%), OB-GYN (53%), oncology (53%), pediatrics (51%), and family medicine (51%). The things contributing most to physicians’ burnout, respondents noted, include bureaucratic tasks such as charting and paperwork (62%), too many hours at work (41%), and lack of respect from employers, colleagues, or staff (40%).

In my case, I realized my love of medicine didn’t change—what changed was that I was no longer going to stay silent and, as a result, feel complicit in the healthcare system eroding further. I also realized I wasn’t going to sacrifice myself and my family for a system that was slowly stealing my joy. If you are feeling crushed by your job, know that you are not alone. I encourage you to dig deep through to the layer to discover the reasons that you are feeling the way you do. I encourage you to have the courage to ask yourself those challenging but empowering questions, that once you answer them and create and follow through with a plan of action, you will finally be free.

Until next time,

Dr. Tomi Mitchell