When Life Happens: Managing the Unexpected

Life has a curious way of unfolding, often leading us down paths we never imagined. For our family, this journey began with the birth of our son, Zidane. At first, everything seemed ordinary—a young child growing, exploring, and delighting in the world. But around 18 months, signs of regression started to appear: lost words, increased agitation, and a disconnection from social interaction. We were thrust into a whirlwind of confusion and denial. It wasn’t until a routine check-up at age two that the truth began to unravel. The doctor’s questions opened our eyes to a reality we weren’t prepared for—autism. The diagnosis hit us like a tidal wave, leaving us stunned and searching for answers at Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore. That day remains etched in our memories—the shock, the flood of information, and the overwhelming uncertainty of what lay ahead. The early years were marked by intensive therapy sessions, navigating through a sea of uncertainty and hope. We threw ourselves into countless hours of therapy, determined to 'fix' our son.?

It was a period of immense challenge, watching him struggle to communicate, to interact, to simply be understood. Each milestone was hard-won, each setback a heartache. Yet amidst the struggle, there were moments of profound joy. Zidane's fascination with navigation, his ability to play music by ear, his incredible memory for dates—these were glimpses of his unique brilliance. Slowly, therapy began to bridge the gap, helping him become more self-sufficient and independent.?

Reflecting back, I realize now that our journey was not about 'fixing' Zidane but embracing who he is—an extraordinary individual with his own strengths and challenges. It was about finding beauty in the unexpected, in cherishing every small victory and learning to live in the moment.?

Through it all, what keeps us going are the good days—the moments when we see the light in Zidane’s eyes, the spark of understanding and connection. These are the moments that remind us why we continue to push forward, advocating for him and others like him.

Looking ahead, our focus has shifted from 'fixing' to nurturing, from striving for normalcy to celebrating uniqueness. We’ve learned to give ourselves grace, to find balance between planning for the future and savoring the present. And in our journey, we’ve found a deep sense of purpose in advocating for autism awareness and education, offering hope to those who may feel lost in their own beginnings. In sharing our story, we hope to inspire others—not with a tale of sadness, but one of resilience and hope. There is hope in the unexpected, in the journey that challenges us to grow, to learn, and to embrace the beauty of differences. This is our journey through autism—a journey that continues to unfold with each new day.?

For those facing a similar journey, I offer this advice: there is solace in community; seek help, embrace therapy, and trust in the process. It’s easy to get lost in conflicting advice and uncertainties, but following professional guidance and reaching out to others in similar situations – or even just sharing our story — brought us gradual, albeit significant, improvements. This is why I’m thankful for BRGs like &family and CapAbilities that provide safe spaces in the workplace for caregivers and for the neurodivergent community and its allies. Together, we realize that there is no recipe to parenthood or even life at large, but there is an abundance of empathy, and strength in numbers, that helps in powering through. If this story resonates, I want to remind you that you are not alone – speak up, stand out and dare to be different. For us this is a privilege, but for our loved ones, it's a reality.