When to Lie, and When to Tell the Truth?

Truth in communication is like spinach on a plate – we all know it's good for us, but we often avoid it. Essentially, truth means conveying information clearly and precisely, without distortion or manipulation.

However, practice often shows that truth is not utilized as it should be. The reasons for this are complex and multilayered, tied to social, emotional, and psychological factors. In practice, this means we might say a show is “great” while we're watching it just for the lead actor or actress.

Why do we lie?

Fear of Consequences

Many of us are true masters at avoiding the truth. Imagine your friend asks how their new suit looks. “Perfect! You look like you just walked off a fashion runway… from last century.” At that moment, you already know that an honest reaction could lead to a long explanation about their choices and possible colour blindness.

Social Pressure

In a social situation, when someone proudly shows off their “one-line” tattoo, we all know how we feel: “That’s… interesting! I think your skin has never been more creative!” Sometimes it's easier to say something that keeps the peace than to confront someone’s artistic expression.

Sense of Superiority

We’ve all pretended at least once to know more than we do. “Oh, yes, of course, I’m up-to-date with the latest technology trends! And yes, of course, I know who that… new… influencer is!” And inside, you know you spent that time watching cat videos on YouTube.

Emotional Protection

When faced with harsh truths, we often retreat into our safe zones. “No, no, no, I don’t want to talk about how my project failed. I need another day to recover… or maybe another week.” Sometimes it’s better to hide under the covers and pretend you’re on vacation.

When should we use the truth?

Building Trust

Truth is the key to building trust, even when it means admitting you forgot your best friend’s birthday. “Yes, I remember you said you’d remember me forever… but it was that one weekend when it was raining, right?”

Understanding and Empathy

By sharing the truth, we open the door to empathy. When we say, “I know it’s not easy for you because it’s not easy for me either!” it can create a connection. And if we add, “Let’s go for coffee and cake,” the world seems much better after a little caffeine, something sweet, some conversation, and a hug.

Resolving Conflicts

Conflicts are like fruit – if you don’t eat them, they can spoil very quickly. Instead of arguing over who forgot to buy food for the guinea pig, it might be better to admit you were both too busy working or binge-watching a show. It’s simpler to go to the store together.

Empowerment

Facing the truth can be like taking your first ski run in a new ski season. At first, it’s intimidating, but once you find your balance, you realize it’s one of the most refreshing things you’ve ever done.

To Battle with the Truth or a Distorted Truth

Truth in communication is important, but it’s not always easy to tell the truth, especially when it comes to, say, a failed attempt at cooking dinner. Understanding why we avoid the truth can help us recognize our behaviour patterns, like shifting blame to appliances when things don’t go right. Ultimately, choosing the truth can open doors to higher-quality relationships. And who wouldn’t want a little more honesty and less “Well, the recipe for that burnt cake said to bake it for 150 minutes at 200 degrees instead of 20 minutes at 150 degrees?”