When was the last time you switched off from work?

The leaders I work with often talk about not feeling like they can escape work, it’s always there with them, and a desperation to be able to switch off. Often, they will have good boundaries in place, they finish work on time, they rarely work on the weekends, and they take their leave. Yet still work is always there. They find themselves distracted, only partly present with their family and friends at the weekend, their brain whizzing through their to-do list, or how to solve the problem that landed in their inbox before they left. ?

Their inability to switch off is typically the result of stress, which?means that they’re exhausted. Instead of filling their evenings and weekends with activities they love, they try to decompress in front of a boxset and scrolling through their phone, leaving them feeling even more depleted.?

What’s important about the stress their facing, is that it is their perception of stress, no one else's. Stress is a very personal thing, what is stressful to one person, won’t be to another, and from my experience, this variation in what is stressful to us contributes to the notion in the third sector that it’s a stressful career path, that this is just the way it is, and either you’re resilient enough or not. And whilst I agree the third sector is a challenging place to work, that isn’t because its people aren’t resilient enough.?

The stress charity folk face comes from all directions, but the most common in my experience are below?

1. The workload is just too big, often leaders will find themselves covering 2 or 3 roles ?

1. Not working to their strengths – often leadership is the natural progression, but this can lead to people having to learn new skills which aren’t their natural skill set?

1. The sector is asking charities and its leaders to do more with less?

1. Unhealthy or toxic working cultures?

1. Leaders feeling responsible for everything, resulting in a constant pressure?

1. Leaders prioritising the needs of their staff and the communities they serve over their own?

1. The culture they work in expects them to always be on?

1. Working from home more often has blurred the boundaries, and it can feel like there is no escape?

1. Leaders’ expectations of what they can achieve are too unrealistic?

1. The financial pressures on the third sector?

1. Challenging team dynamics?

1. Holding on to stress to protect teams from it?

1. An unsupportive board?

1. Teams pulling in different directions?

1. Holding the hope for everyone else?

Now some leaders may feel that they can thrive in a high-pressured environment, that the adrenaline enables them to do their best work, that is supports their drive. But there will be two things which enable this?

1. Thier perception of the stress they face is not greater than their perception of the resources they have available. In other words, whilst it might be stressful, they believe they have the tools, skills and resources to meet the challenge.?

1. They can switch off at the end of the day, focus on themselves, and use their time away from work to enjoy life and recharge.?

But switching off is easier said than done, isn’t it? If it was as easy as flicking a switch we’d all do it.?

So, what’s the answer??

I’d argue it’s three-fold, boundaries, routine and teaching yourself that work is done for the day and can be left until tomorrow.?

Boundaries?

The foundation is establishing boundaries between your work life and your home life. One of the common themes that comes up in my work is the sense of responsibilities leaders feel for their work, and as a result the need to be available at all times so that they don’t let anyone down. But in the process of?being there for everyone else, they end up letting themselves and their loved ones down by not taking care of themselves, and not being fully present when they’re not at work.?

It’s a sense of responsibility I fully understand, I’ve heard myself utter the words give me a call if you need anything before I’d even considered what I was saying. But once you’ve given that invitation, (whether its’ by saying give me a call, responding to emails, staying late or working during the weekend) it’s very difficult to re-establish the boundary, and you’ve primed yourself to be available, you’re inevitably going to have work on your mind. ?

By being explicit about your work boundaries with yourself, and colleagues, you’ve done half the work of switching off.?

Routine?

How much of a routine do you have outside of work? Aside from what you have to do for the family? What do you do for you? Often my clients are so knackered by the time work has finished, that aside from the ferrying the kids about, and caring for relatives, they just want to crash. They know they should have a self-care routine, they know they should move their body, they know they should be doing things they enjoy, spend time with people they love, but gradually these things have fallen to the wayside because work was more important, or they were too tired. Now starting again feels impossible.?

But this lack of routine, and choice not to do things for themselves means that they never recharge their batteries, they end the weekend just as tired as they were when they started. They go to work without the bandwidth to strategically plan their work, meaning they end up in a downwards spiral of stress which they can’t switch off from.?

The answer is to create a realistic, imperfect (not an all or nothing) routine around work, and your other responsibilities for you. ?

You might want to consider:?

• A regular sleep routine (to bed and wake at the same time every day) & time to rest?
• Doing things which give you a sense of accomplishment?
• Quality time with people you love (not those complicated or draining relationships)?
• Time doing things you enjoy, which make you happy, where you laugh?
• Nourish your body with good food and movement?
• Time for things which matter and have meaning to you (so that your sense of purpose isn’t only related to your work)?

Work is work?

We’ve all had those colleagues who leave on time, who will have a smile on their face even when work is stressful, who are able to do the work with a level of healthy detachment. I can also tell you which of these people cared about their work, and those who weren’t invested at all. I have a vivid memory of a senior leader I knew when I was first a team leader, she really cared about her work, her staff and the services she was responsible for. I remember that even when there were stressful things going on, she always had a smile on her face. Her job was important to her, but it wasn’t her everything, and she knew the expectations of her role, she kept her work in perspective.?

Here is how I believe she did it:?

• Keep in mind what you are contracted to do, the expectations and limitations of your role. Are you contracted to work 24/7? No. ?
• Have purpose and a full life outside of work (see routine above...)?
• Create habits which signal to yourself that work is done for the day (essential to switching off)?
• Tools when your mind wanders back to work – use lists, mindfulness and reminders to yourself that work is done, and you’ll come back to this when you’re at work).?

Working in the charity sector can be stressful, it can become overwhelming, and we can find ourselves in a position of never switching off. But it is possible to find a balance between wanting to make a difference, leaving the world a better place and enjoying your life. They’re not mutually exclusive. By creating clear boundaries, a routine outside of work, and signalling to ourselves that work is down, we can find a way to switch off.?

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