When was the last time you asked - ‘What is my Expectation?’

A simple yet not-so-simple question to answer: 'What are your expectations?'

Look at any area of your life that you think is not working. I dare you. Pick any and answer this question: What are your expectations? You will be surprised by the convoluted space that unfolds in front of you.

I was talking to an entrepreneur in my one-on-one high-performance coaching session this week. He was really upset with a few things that were bothering him about his spouse. In the last few years of being coached, he knew that I would ask him one of my favourite questions: 'What are your expectations?' so without missing a beat, he made a long list before the session.

Make that list. You may think, what’s the point? I already know things. I have been thinking about them for a long time. I know what I expect.

If you are an overthinker who feels that your mind always stays occupied, then start making these short long lists on paper or your phone notes. Do not let your mind run in circles. Take charge and break the loop.

Tool: Is it even possible?

I am a dreamer. I love imagining the impossible and then spending years pursuing it to make it come true. But when I look at the expectations list, somehow this tool wakes me up from my fantasy world.

The entrepreneur sat with that list, and in the session, we went item by item. I asked him, "You have known your wife for 19 years now. Do you think it is possible for her to deliver on this expectation? It took us 20 minutes to go through that long list. In the end, we were left with three things that he expected of her and that she could deliver.

At times, I pack my day with a lot of things that I think I want to accomplish. Many times I ask these questions: what is my expectation? Is it even possible?

This is a tool inspired by CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), which demands that you look at your own emotional discomfort with some sort of objectivity.

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