When I thought I wasn't "smart enough"

When I left the "country" (the parish of Manchester in Jamaica) at 18 years old to start University in Kingston City I came with only one tool. I had no money, no scholarship, no recognized last name or influential network, no powerful alma mater backing me which also meant NO ROOM TO FAIL!

The?ONE THING?I had was my voice and the courage to use it. It was the only arrow in my quiver. I am not sure if it was because I had no other weapon to use to open doors and create space for myself but I have come to believe that it was the best tool to have.

With time my voice became my?VISA,?literally. It allowed me to see the world - LIVE and in LIVING COLOUR.

My first time on an airplane was to?use my voice?at the World University Debate Championships in Turkey. My first time winning an International Title came from using my voice in?Botswana to win the World Public Speaking Champion (2010) - the only female in the Caribbean and Latin America to secure the title. My voice was my visa to South Africa, United Kingdom, The Philippines, St. Kitts and Nevis, Canada, Guyana, Trinidad and Tobago and the USA.

But I came dangerously close to missing those opportunities because my inner critic tried hard to convince me that my voice was not enough...that I was not *insert all the prerequisites here* enough. I almost did not show up for debating try-outs because I thought I wasn't "reading enough" to be able to debate an impromptu topic. In 2009, when my coach recommended that I try out for the World Public Speaking Competition, I pretended to "forget" because I wasn't "white, bright, smart enough". How could this skinny black girl with her afro come from the Caribbean and compete against the Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Cambridge, Oxford educated men and women of this world?

NOT. ENOUGH.

I was prodded again by my coach the following year to enter and dug deep to find the courage to compete. I told that timid, scared young woman one thing:

"If you lose you're fine but if you win you'll fly!"

I was half way across the world, in a different time zone. Despite being intimidated by an audience of strangers, ultimately, they were just that - strangers. I may never see any of them again. So if I lost, I truly would be fine. There would be no headlines, no crisis, nothing. BUT...if I won...everything could change for my team, my University and for me. If you know my story, you know I won. The only female in LatAm and the Caribbean to take home the title.

And yes, everything changed!

From student leadership to national and regional advocacy to media and communications, to authorship, international speaking and coaching - everything changed.

I had a front row seat and witnessed how my voice created space for me in rooms I thought I could never enter; at tables I thought were too big and important; on lists with people who I considered mentors. No trust fund, no Ivy League education, no shortcuts, no old girls'/boys' network. Just my voice and the courage to use it. That created my opportunities, built relationships, created community and expanded my influence.

In 2022 I was ranked by Success Magazine among the 125 Influential Voices Globally. That took a while to sink in for someone who once believed that her voice was not enough.

As this milestone sinks in, 2 big lessons emerge for me:

• What you do matters more than what you have the potential to do. Only those who are brave enough to try stand a chance at winning. There is no perfect condition for you to take a risk on yourself, no pre-requisites that make you worthy. You make yourself worthy by showing up and stepping into the ring.
• It's never too late to #UNMUTE. No matter where in our lives we learned that our voices had no value or that we were safer on #MUTE it is never too late to start using your voice. Your voice is your 'visa' - everyone's voice has value, currency, power. Do not make a habit of judging and comparing your voice out of its unique power. Open your mouth and watch the world open up right along with it.

What if you were one conversation, presentation, boldly posed question away from the life of your dreams? Unmute. The world is waiting to hear your voice.

Stay brave, beautiful warrior.

Krystal Tomlinson is a Public Speaking Coach and Corporate Productivity Trainer serving teams in the Caribbean and North America. She holds Certification from UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Centre in the Science of Happiness and works passionately to help improve workplace wellness and personal productivity. For trainings, workshops and seminar bookings email?[email protected].