When I tease my child, am I being a funny, fun loving parent? Parenting Series - 1

When I tease my child, am I being a funny, fun loving parent?

Teasing is often a way we choose to connect with our kids. After all its all in good fun, you love you child immensely and you are only teasing. And laughing together can be so much fun. Take a close look at your child, does it look like the child is enjoying it, is the child laughing - or is the child teary and looking away? You have your answer there.

When you tease a child you are basically hitting out at a child’s sense of security and self-worth. You are also modeling the behavior of bullies. Whenever teasing occurs, there is a spirit of meanness disguised as humor.

When a parent teases a child, the child initially feels hurt. Then, the child feels that he has been betrayed (duped) and understands that he can’t trust the parent who is doing the teasing. So, by the time the child realizes that the teasing is for the purpose of humor, he doesn’t feel like laughing.

No one likes being teased- ever. Adults may nervously laugh after they have been teased, but even they feel humiliated beneath the laughter.

“Humor can be very misplaced,” says clinical psychologist Dr. John Mayer. “Cognitively we’re dealing with something that takes abstract thought to really comprehend and we’re expecting kids to get it. Kids don’t get it.“ When a parent teases a child with a sarcastic comment, they are asking the child to both understand the world, other peoples’ perspectives, and alternative realities. This is way too much for a child!

And in the words of Benjamin Zander, “...If the eyes are not shining, you get to ask a question. And this is the question: ......Who am I being, that my children's eyes are not shining?

PIC CREDIT: PINTEREST

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