When I was modeling, I got told "no" at least a dozen times a day...

When I was modeling, I got told no at least a dozen times a day. During my brief, short lived modeling “career,” I learned more about life and rejection than anything else.

When you’re in New York or Los Angeles, or wherever you’re modeling, you’re essentially doing a job interview a dozen times a day, or more. I’ve been out of the loop for awhile, but that’s what it was like 20 years ago. In that world, it’s just a “casting”… but don’t fool yourself, you’re trying to get a job. I've done stuff here and there since and have acted as a spokesperson, but it's different. It's what they call a "direct booking" at this stage in my career. At first, I thought I was unique and interesting looking. People told me all the time that I had a unique look and unique features. ….blah blah blah! I remember thinking, “wow that is so cool, I look different than everybody else.” Right up until I went into a casting, and everyone looked exactly like me; brown hair, skinny, hazel eyes, sort of European looking. At first I believed the “headline.” It took me awhile to understand that I wasn’t unique, I wasn’t special and I was quite literally, just like everyone else. More lessons were learned in the four (ish) years that I was modeling than any other time in my life. Most people go to college, I walked the streets of NY and other places trying to get my picture taken.?

When I was modeling, I was always learning. What I didn’t realize is, I was learning ways to be a better communicator through living this kind of life. I was learning ways to understand relationships better and I learned how to forge long lasting deep connections with people.?

Although some of the stuff I did was pretty cool, to me at the time, it wasn’t that big of a deal. It honestly wasn’t my thing. I guess if I hung around long enough, maybe I could’ve gotten over the hump and reached another level to do much larger jobs. I did OK for sure, and actually made decent money. But again, wasn’t my passion.

The three things I took away from that time in my life are incredibly valuable. I use those principles today.

Relationships are important and they take nourishing - If I had better relationships with the people I was a meeting at that time, I probably would’ve booked more gigs. I thought they were just looking at my portfolio…But in reality, they were interviewing me, as a person. Of course the portfolio, in that world, is a big deal, but the other half of it was forging relationships.

“No” is temporary - I got over rejection really fast. I got used to being told no. Someone told me you are one more no closer to a yes. I never forgot that. So I always smiled and looked forward to the next no because it truly meant I was one more no closer to a yes. They were right. You have to be pretty self assured, because it can be discouraging. Mindset is everything.?

Don’t believe the headline - You are not as amazing as everyone tells you, nor do you do you suck as much as everybody tells you. Once I put down the “headline” and stopped reading the “news” about myself, I started becoming more authentic. I started learning more and embracing my weaknesses... and my strengths. People that fall victim of believing the headlines become egotistical and selfish. They think they are above everyone else.

Here’s the funny thing about my short live modeling career… the only people that really cared about it was my family. They thought it was a big deal, but no one else really cares. In my opinion, it’s not even worth putting on Linkedin. Was it cool? Sure. I was in magazines and on dating shows and commercials. That’s cool I guess. It was different. What most people don’t realize is the struggle behind all that. The time I lived in my car. The time this guy was evicted from the apartment I was staying at for a bit. Stealing smoked salmon packets to eat… because they were flat and I could fit them in my pants. Going to certain parties just to be able to get in a good solid meal. And I don’t know very many people that can be as creative as I can with ramen noodles. $.10 a packet!?

In the end, I’m glad I did it. Not for the photos or being on dating shows or in commercials, but for the lessons I learned that would carry forward in my life. Oh… meeting celebrities on the regular was cool at the time! Come to think about it, it's funny how things come full circle! :)?