When I Let Go of What I Am, I Become What I Might Be

Letting go—it sounds like a simple concept, but in reality, it can be one of the hardest things to do. We cling to people, places, and things because they become part of our identity, as if they are essential to who we are. But what if the secret to unlocking the future we truly desire is found in releasing those very attachments? Lao Tzu's words, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be,” invite us to do just that—to step out of the confines of our current selves and make room for the person we might become. This is a universal truth that many great thinkers and leaders have explored, and it’s time we dive into how letting go can transform not just your present, but your future.

?We hold onto relationships, jobs, habits, and even material possessions like they’re lifelines to our identity. But in reality, holding on too tightly often stifles our growth. Tony Robbins perfectly sums this up: “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.” The story we cling to—who we think we are, what we think we need—keeps us locked in place. Letting go of that story is the first step to becoming something more.

?When it comes to people, the relationships we hold onto—whether out of comfort or fear—often shape our identity more than we realize. But when we let go of those relationships that no longer serve us, we free ourselves to grow. Ben Hardy, an expert on self-transformation, says it best: “If you don’t shape your identity, it will be continually and unintentionally shaped by your circumstances.” If you’re holding onto someone because they define who you are, you’re giving up the power to shape yourself. Imagine releasing those relationships that drain you, and suddenly, you have the freedom to future-pace a vision of yourself surrounded by people who lift you higher and encourage you to evolve. By letting go of those relationships, you’re giving your future self the opportunity to thrive.

?Letting go isn’t just about people but the environments we attach ourselves to. Maybe it’s the hometown you’ve outgrown, or the job that’s no longer challenging you. You stay because it’s familiar, but familiar isn’t always what’s best for you. Tony Robbins challenges us to rethink this, stating, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” If you want to change your life, you need to change your surroundings. Letting go of a place that no longer serves you isn’t abandonment—it’s growth. It’s future pacing yourself into a new environment that supports who you are becoming. Picture your future self in a new city and job, feeling energized and inspired. When you let go of the place that confines you, you make room for a life that expands you.

?Then there are the things we hold onto—material objects, titles, and roles—that weigh us down. Sometimes we cling to our possessions because they remind us of who we were, but what happens when those things no longer align with who we want to be? Ben Hardy reminds us, “Who you are right now is a temporary state, not a fixed identity.” That old car, that job title, that collection of memorabilia—they represent a past version of you. Letting go of those things doesn’t erase who you’ve been—it frees you to grow into who you might be. When you release the objects and roles that no longer serve you, you’re clearing space for a future that isn’t tied to old expectations or outdated definitions of success.

?Letting go often feels like shedding a layer of your identity, and that can be scary. But it’s essential if you want to step into your future self with confidence. Dr. Joe Dispenza offers insight here: “The unknown has never let you down.” Trust that when you release the old version of yourself, what’s waiting on the other side is far greater than what you’ve left behind. Confidence comes from knowing that the only way to grow is to let go of the comfort of what you’ve known. Future pacing allows you to see beyond who you are today. Imagine yourself a year from now, thriving, unburdened by the relationships, places, and things you once thought you couldn’t live without. That’s the power of letting go.

?Letting go isn’t about turning your life upside down overnight—it’s a process, and it’s manageable. Marie Forleo encourages us to take small, actionable steps: “Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.” Start by letting go of one small thing, one small attachment. Maybe it’s distancing yourself from a toxic relationship or exploring a new job opportunity. The key is to engage in the process, to take tangible steps toward releasing what no longer serves you. With each step, you open yourself up to new possibilities, and future pacing becomes more than just a concept—it becomes your new reality.

?Now, let’s talk about future pacing. This is where you visualize the future you desire and letting go becomes the first step toward that vision. Benjamin Hardy talks about how “Your future self is not the same person as you today.” When you let go of your current identity—the one tied to old relationships, places, and things—you make room for the future self you’re becoming. Future pacing allows you to see that version of yourself clearly: someone who is more aligned, more fulfilled, and more empowered. Letting go isn’t the end of anything—it’s the beginning of everything.

Lao Tzu’s words, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be,” aren’t just about releasing the past—they’re about stepping boldly into the future. As Tony Robbins reminds us, “Your past does not equal your future, unless you choose to live there.” Letting go of who you think you are is the only way to become the person you might be. Imagine your future self—free from the limitations of past relationships, old environments, and outdated expectations. That’s the life waiting for you when you make the decision to let go.

?So, as you move forward, remember that letting go isn’t an act of loss. It’s an act of creation. By releasing what no longer serves you, you’re future pacing a vision of your life that’s filled with potential, growth, and possibility. You’re not leaving behind the person you’ve been—you’re becoming the person you were always meant to be. And that future? It’s brighter than you can imagine.