When Will I Die?
Few days ago, I was driving listening to radio. DJ sought audience's opinions on a 2-pick-1 question:
I found this really interesting. 1) death topic is not much of a taboo now and audiences are willing to share their thoughts over the air; 2) it got the audiences ponder how to react to own's death.
My dad is the eldest and the only son who is alive in his family. The cemetery handling of my grandparent and great grandmom falls on his shoulder alone, he experiences how troublesome and costly it is to manage all of it.
Last year, a neighbor opposite his ancestral house passed away suddenly, the uncle was just few years elder than my dad. It struck him that he may leave anytime just like the uncle too, so he told us how he wants us to handle his funeral and a burial at sea.
He said save money and very clean. He doesn't insist if we the children will continue praying to him, as he has no more control over this materialistic world by then. He is not superstitious, he just follows whatever tradition and ceremony that he grown up following.
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This leads me to another series of questions: of all the traditions that we follow, is it really for the ancestors to live a better life in another world? Or it serves the purpose to give us (who are still alive) a comfort to feel connected and love them? Can't we continue loving them emotionally and spiritually? What if the ancestors already living next life and we still continue burning joss papers here?
Alright, back to the DJ's question. I will choose Option 2.
If I knew when will I die, I would wear a stopwatch everyday. Looking at it ticking is like looking at a timed bomb in front of my eyes, I guess there is no other more exciting way than this to countdown life. I would not procrastinate, no limiting belief, no more obscure love, I would live the best life in my form.
That being said, I don't have the answer. I only know that I can't stop moving and growing till the day comes. When time is limited, I need to be mindful of my intention and how do I spend my day. I know I can't satisfy with a dull boring daily routines, there are so much fun experiences awaiting me! I hope by end of everyday, I always get new insights and be grateful of them, and that's the only thing I can bring along with me when the day comes.
"Growing" is my scarcity. "Scarcity" in Psychology means human's mind is so obsessed with limited resources and lose focus in anything else, e.g. the hungry always keep an eye on whether there is food; majority of the people nowadays think they have no enough money so they are obsessed with cari lubang to earn more money.
Life is about heading towards an end. Some may ask, since everyone has their end, then why bother growing? My answer, everyone is hopping on the same journey but I want to enjoy a different scenery and I am fascinating to write a story of my own. Some of us maybe age but never grow, and to me, that's the saddest thing in the world.