When I was 26, I quietly quit — and it changed me as a leader and a person

Before you are completely sick of reading about “quiet quitting,”?I thought I'd share a personal story about what happened when my 26-year-old self intentionally delivered less?at my mid-level manager job.

Long before it had a name, I “quietly quit” for six months?when I was employed at?a major financial services firm.?Quietly quitting was a powerful learning experience for me and shaped many of my future choices as a team leader.

I had been in my position for several months before I eased up on the gas.?A beloved former manager had recruited me to join the firm.?I was tapped to elevate the organization’s partnership marketing efforts?to support?several media brands reaching affluent travelers and foodies. It sounded glamorous. Who doesn't like luxury travel???

I was on fire when I first started with my new company.?I worked long hours and crushed all the deadlines.?My work was innovative and made a difference. Within a couple of months, I became the preferred internal partner for our top salespeople.?

I was doing great work and doing my best to move past a bait-and-switch change made to my role right before I had started. You see, my former boss — whom I trusted completely — had changed my reporting lines after I had resigned from my other job.?I ended up reporting to someone I was outperforming on most days.

?Resentment, confusion, and disappointment started to eclipse my excitement for the job. The workload became heavier and heavier, especially when I was assigned?to our division's most difficult external clients as a "reward" for my creativity.?As the company grew in its belief in me, my belief in its commitment to me waned.

Then one day, I asked myself: “What would they do if I stopped working?” ?

And so, I quietly quit. I did less and less every day. I experimented to see how little I could do each week. I would momentarily step up to help out salespeople I liked, but mostly I pushed papers around and played games online.

As I confess this publicly, I feel some shame and guilt for how I did not keep up my commitment to my employer. But back then, I felt undervalued and deflated. I didn’t trust them, and I stopped caring.

You might be wondering: how did it end???The better question: when did it end? That answer is pretty amazing.

It took my manager and his boss six months to inquire about my productivity. They vaguely noted that I “seemed less engaged than when I started.” They were right. And it was wrong that it took six months for us all to acknowledge it.

If I could go back and advise my 26-year-old self, I’d say:

• Be transparent about how you feel.
• Be brave.
• Speak up respectfully.
• They can’t fix what they don’t understand.

If I could go back and advise my two managers, I’d say:

• See something, say something.
• When an employee stops delivering, there is a problem.
• You can break the spell of disengagement with candid, curious conversation.
• Be brave.

I have thought about my quiet quitting experiment often — especially when I lead my own teams. The experience helps me step my team's experiences to remember what it was like at the beginning of my career, what it's like to strive for a promotion or fight for recognition. It helps me assess when I need to get out from underneath my sea of leadership issues and meet those supporting me on their terms. And, how to recognize when it is the right thing for someone to leave my fold for a bigger job elsewhere.

I believe employees want to keep their commitments, and companies intend to treat their employees well. But sometimes, it doesn’t happen or can’t happen. That’s life, and it often isn’t fair. Being steadfast in a shared commitment to having candid conversations is the way to take the quiet out of quitting.

By the way, I eventually left that company, only to return for a decade of fantastic experiences some years later. Sometimes we are in the right place at the wrong time, but that's a topic for another newsletter. Stay tuned.

Let me know if you have ever quietly quit — or watched a team member or colleague quietly quit.?What was it like for you?

Comment below.... I'd love to hear about it.

#leaders #share #quietquitting #quietquit #returntowork #editorspicks #media #advertising

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Stacey Staaterman ?is a leadership and career growth coach supporting individuals and organizations with roots in media, communications, advertising, and entertainment. She is a contributor to Forbes and has been seen in Fortune, Men's Health, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal. [email protected] (917) 903 8727

Also, if you are worried about your team's engagement, retention stats, and communication dynamics.... and you suspect they are not feeling or doing their best, let's connect. My team and I would love to create a leadership development program to help you close the gaps and fuel new opportunities.