When and How To Say "NO"

We have all been there. The boss that walks up to you and says, “Can you do me a favor?” You literally cringe when you hear those words. Your mind beings to reel because you know your day is a busy one and this is just one more thing added to the pile. How long will this favor take? Will you be able to get out of work on time? You feel your blood pressure begin to rise and anxiety set in.

When you hear those words, “can you do me a favor” you just know it is something, not EVEN related to work. You can only smile and say, “Sure. What do you need?” We have all said those words to our bosses a thousand times when we don’t want to be bothered with THEIR personal stuff. On a daily basis--how often are we ask to do personal stuff? Not only for your boss but the other employees who feel you “work” for them too. That is when you see red.  

The endless use of someone in an administrative role sometimes gets pushed to the brink of doing work that is non-business related to personal. Many of us are caught in a catch-22 when it comes to our bosses asking us to do “personal stuff” for them. You have a fear of not doing it because of:

-   You will be seen not as a team player.

-   Will this put your raise or taking time off in jeopardy?

-   If there is a downsizing, will you be the first to go?

-   Will you be ‘thrown under the bus’ for something another employee told your boss that you wouldn’t do?  

The thoughts that run through our mind our endless because we are doing this favor along with all the other favors based on fear. Fear if we don’t do it and what the consequences will be if we don’t. That is the bottom line.

So, how do we handle finally saying, NO to a boss who just keeps asking for us to do personal stuff or for that matter anything that is non-company related. Think of these things:

1.      Does it Matter to Me?

Most the time it doesn’t, not really. But are they taking into account your time? You hear over and over about your time management which they are not giving consideration too. Taking time to do a personal favor does take time. How much? You won’t know until you get involved doing it. I am not saying you never help your boss/colleague out but he/she must understand the time committed to do this on your end.

2.      I Don’t Have Time

Really, you don’t, do you? Your time is precious just as much as theirs is, so when you are asked to do these personal favors it cuts into doing your day-to-day job right? You then begin to rush to get this done. Jump to do that and guess what? In the process, you will burn yourself out and more than likely something will fall through the cracks. If you are feeling overwhelmed and your plate is too full. Just say NO! No one wants to hear you complaining about too much work to do after YOU accepted doing it.   

3.      It Makes You Uncomfortable

Yes, there are those moments when you are asking to do that “personal favor” that is so over the top that you cringe at that thought that they have the nerve to ask you to do.

In your gut, you know that you feel so uncomfortable doing it but as I said earlier, it goes down to fear. If you don’t do it—is your job in jeopardy. But the bottom line is: They should NOT have put you in that position in the first place. Yes, you want the job and you like it but there is a limit and it is now time to draw the line in the sand.

You now need to stand firm. Don’t let how you are feeling stop you. Listen to your conscience and if you are feeling uneasy, then say so and just walk away. If you know it isn’t right than there is nothing wrong, then letting your feelings be known and your boss should respect your honesty regarding your decision. But really, do they?

It is hard when it comes to saying “no” period. It makes us nervous at the thought of telling “no” to someone particularly when it comes to your boss. Why? Because of all the fear that is going through your head plus we all know how hard jobs are to come by, we accept anything that is pretty much thrown are way due to that fact. It is sad really.

But don’t let fear be your catalyst to drive you. Sit down with your boss and address it. Not later either, such as an evaluation but within a reasonable period so that when you are approached again to do that favor, you can use your weapon of choice…your weapon to say…NO!

Deidra Jenkins