When & How to Say "NO"

"I need your help to solve this problem, can you help me Here?" This is the common situation which we faced in our daily routine. We also have our own priorities & we also want to help others so we generally say "Sure, let me look into this" and sometime we couldn't deliver our own priority work due to this.

If you really want to solve this problem then the only way is to start saying "NO". Now when you say "No" to your colleges/Team members then you could face the following unexpected outcomes.

• Each "No" generates some negativity which impacts your relationship.
• Your loyalty can be questioned
• Work ethic disputed
• A few team members may not see you as a team player.
• Likeability affected

So instead of saying "No", generally you say "Yes" and you save yourself from all of these but you compromise your own commitments.

"How you can deal with this situation?"

Before moving to "How?", you have to understand,

"When you can say No?": You have to decide what matter most for you and these following points help you here:

• Think about the importance of work because most of the time 80% of requests are not important or urgent, only 20% are.
• Think about how frequently you getting these requests and again put it into 80% / 20%(not important/Important). If someone requesting very frequent help put them on 80% because they never try there own. If someone coming rare then chances of importance are high.
• Think about your own workload and take a call accordingly.
• Think about who is requesting your help, It's coming from your manager/CEO/CTO or your college/team-members/sub-ordinates. this is not an important point but sometimes we have to think about this as well.

How to say No? :- There are many ways to say "No", like:

Reply-1: "I'm sorry, I'm too busy & I can't help you right now."- If you replying straight forward then it shows you are not respecting the other person who needs your help, so try to avoid these kinds of replies.

Reply-2: "How about 2 pm? Can I come by then for a few minutes to help you?"- This reply shows currently you are busy with something but you want to help so you asking for some time slot. Make sure at 2 pm, you have to do a follow up otherwise it will not look good.

Reply-3: "That's not my job"- This reply represents your rude behavior for the person who needs your help so try to avoid these kinds of replies as well.

Reply-4: "I can’t look into this right now because I have to submit my report in a few hours. Can you co-ordinate Mr. X or Ms. Y? they both are my teammates and they also looking into the same"- This reply shows you have your own urgencies but you re-direct to some other college/team-member who can help this person.

You have to try to avoid reply-1 & reply-3 as much as possible because they do not look professional and it depends on how the receiver takes these replies.

Another important aspect while you saying "No" to someone is communication and your explanation like reply-4. Your response should be brief, short, concise, and to the point. Your explanation should be honest, positive, and respectful not like reply-3.

In some cases where you saying no but the requester also pressuring to look into that issue right now, you have to keep calm and repeat yourself and try to focus on your reason why you couldn't help right now. If still the situation not solves then repeat one more time and try to move away while you replying. This is not the right way but we have to take these steps a few times. In this case, try to ping the requester after a few days and do a formal chat to make the things normal again.

Body Language plays an important role while you deny someone and you have to make sure,

• Be mindful of your language
• Try not to multitask while help is being requested
• Face them directly, don't look downside or in your mobile
• Try not to interrupt, listen to the complete problem and then react
• Avoid negative gesture like pointing figures

In the end, you should always remember while you saying No,

• Your goal is to find out the best times to say No in order to focus on your own work.
• Saying No effectively is going in a positive direction.
• Say Yes in new relationships like new team members join the team or new manager join the organization because the first impression is the last impression always.