When Heroes Feel Like Zeros

“How to get your mojo back”

Heroes are always harder on themselves than others, when things go wrong. In fact, way too hard. Because of the positive impact they have on the lives of others, it is critical that heroes get their mojo back as quickly as possible. The purpose of this blog is to let heroes know the?three?steps?they need to take when they get into a funk. (It is not if; it is when because all heroes get into funks.)

Before I go on, how can you tell you are a hero? It is by doing all of the things that you should be doing to first make a difference in your life so that you can then make a difference in the lives of others. For example, I got into one of my biggest funks professionally when I graduated from college as an academic All-American, MVP of the basketball team, and All-District player but could not get a job when everyone did. I felt like I was letting my wife, mother, and father-in-law down because I knew how much they believed in me. Another professional example was when I was leading a major ERP implementation and misjudged how ready a couple of critical areas were for us to go live. Seeing people struggle trying to use the system got to me. Another example was when we had to do downsizing and I saw good people lose their jobs not because of anything they did, but because of business conditions. Personal examples were times when our kids or grandkids were struggling with something that I couldn’t immediately find a solution for.

Here is the three-step process I’ve learned to use to get my mojo back:

1.?????Take a hard look at your definition of success:?In my college example, I was defining success as getting a job with a title at a prestigious company. That was my pride talking. The real definition of success was working any job to provide for my family. Once I realized that, I went to my boss at the plant I was working in part-time as a janitor and asked him if there was a way I could get more hours. I wound up working double shifts until a new job came through. Being a janitor was not my profession of training, but it was my source of income.

2.?????Get up and help someone else:?When I was struggling with the ERP project, I volunteered at Habitat for Humanity and helped build houses. It was so gratifying to hear future homeowners tell their stories (which were way tougher than mine) say “Thank you” at the end of each day working on the house.

3.?????Reach out and talk with someone:?When you reach out to the right people, you will find out that other heroes have gone through something similar. That realization makes you not feel so alone and like a failure because you did not get everything right. The way you can tell if the person you reached out to is the right person, that person will not only take your call, but more importantly take you out because she/he knows you need some type of validation that you are more than what you do; you are who you are. Projects, titles, jobs will come and go. Who you are and what you represent is the constant. For example, I view myself as an overcomer who inspires others to overcome and not feel alone. You can’t overcome if you don’t have adversity. You can’t empathize and inspire if you don’t have a story to tell that is relatable to what the person is experiencing.

In closing, if you are feeling like a zero, it is because you are a hero. To get your mojo back, remember these three things: What you do does not define who you are; helping someone else will help you; and talking with someone else will encourage and inspire you. When things are not going your way, if you just hang in there things will break for you. You will wind up with an authentic story of how you bounced back and up that will uplift and inspire others.?

#wednesdaywisdom??

James Dallas is the author of?Mastering the Challenges of Leading Change: Inspire the People and Succeed Where Others Fail?and an accomplished senior executive. As president of?James Dallas & Associates, he consults with and speaks to companies and organizations about managing change. He has been named one of the most powerful black men in corporate America several times in his career by Black Enterprise and Savoy magazines.?