When They Hate You for Giving...

You can destroy a relationship by giving.

It's one thing to have fair exchange. You pay for it, and you get it. It's another to give and refuse to accept anything for it. We've all been there. "No, no. Really. It's a gift."

Sometimes you are helping someone that is below you, and you remember your own struggles. That is the good in you. Celebrate it. We do this with friends all the time. Sometimes you pick up the check. Sometimes you just have an extra one, or you bought a new one and you're handing off something that's good, but you never used it. Sometimes it's a client that can also help them in their work. But you can actually give to the point of toxicity.

You see, give-and-take helps us maintain a certain dignity. It's also perfectly OK to do something for someone that is far beneath your means like a young man or woman early in their career path. You don't want to ask for anything in return; as after all, you are often in a much better position. You feel like you're almost giving to your younger, struggling self. But if you give, and give, and GIVE, and always refuse any type of compensation or something in return, then you build up such a level of indebtedness in that person they can almost never repay it and they will DREAD seeing you.

Dread it, and I mean that very word.

They will see your call and let it go to VM while rolling their eyes.

Really...

You see, they are now carrying a boulder on their back. They know it, and they know you know it (you don't). You put it there. You're better than them and you never let them forget it (you have no idea), and now the thought of you coming around and tossing more weight on their back is sickening. Their mind will actually make up a false narrative so as to help them cope. "What are they really up to? Is there something sneaky behind their goody-two-shoes smile? You know, I think they have an ulterior motive! Why? Why would they do that?!"

All you wanted to do was help. That is basic knowledge. Wisdom though shows us there is dignity in work and fair exchange. A helping hand can feel like a denigrating hand-out if they never have to give something for it. That's for panhandlers. A one-time gift is one thing, but if you want to keep giving, get something in return. It gives them the dignity that all of mankind needs in their heart. It can be very small, and not money. They can refer you to a couple of clients, or mention you to others and they instantly have a hand in the game. They have contributed to the relationship. They have dignity.

We give all day long from businesses to the charities that they support. The charities get the donations, and the businesses get the knowledge that their communities are better places. Fair exchange. If you want to automate your philanthropy, contact us here and we'll show you how.

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Doing Good Is Good Business

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