When a Handshake Dies, So Does a Nation

When I was five years old, I learned how to lose.

I didn’t like it. I was a table tennis prodigy with a mean streak, snapping at every missed shot, gritting my teeth when an opponent got the better of me. I wanted to win—always. But my coach, a man who spent fifteen years shaping me, cared about something more than my victories.

“You shake their hand,” he told me. Every time. No exceptions. Win or lose, you look them in the eye and acknowledge their effort.

What was the point? Why show respect when I felt I had played better? Why extend my hand when I was burning inside?

I learned because I came to understand the deeper meaning of the action: Character is measured not in how you win, but in how you handle defeat. True strength lies not in control or power, but in #kindness and composure.

That lesson has stayed with me my entire life. And yet, today, I see grown men—leaders—fail a test I was expected to pass before I turned ten.

The Day a Handshake Became a Political Act

It was a simple ceremony. Sen. Deb Fischer (R-Neb.) stood next to her husband, Bruce Fischer, as she was sworn in for another term in the U.S. Senate. Vice President Kamala Harris, fulfilling her constitutional duty, presided over the event. When it was done, she turned to #BruceFischer, extended her hand, and smiled.

He refused.

Not with words, but with his body. Out of words and options, he looked down, held his Bible tightly, and shoved his freed hand into his pocket. The Vice President tried to lighten the mood. “I won’t bite,” she said. He barely acknowledged her.

It was a small thing. But small things tell the biggest stories.

How a Country Unlearned Decency

There was a time when a handshake meant nothing more than a handshake. Today, it’s a battlefield.

Some will defend Bruce Fischer’s refusal. They will say he had no obligation to shake the Vice President’s hand. That he was exercising his right, standing on principle, making a statement.

But what principle is that? That acknowledging the existence of someone you disagree with is unacceptable? That offering a simple gesture of respect to a political opponent is a sign of weakness?

This isn’t principle. It’s cowardice.

False strength masking true fear.

The belief that to "own the other side," one must deny them even the smallest courtesy.

The idea that decency is submission.

That respect is betrayal.

Nations fall not by war or economic ruin, but by the gradual decay of unity and trust.

The Dangerous Lessons We Are Teaching

This signifies more than just a handshake. It’s about what that missing handshake represents.

Imagine a child watching that moment. A child who is told after every soccer game to shake hands, after every spelling bee to congratulate the winner, after every disagreement to find common ground.

That child just realized it was all meaningless.

They just learned that if you don’t like someone, you don’t have to acknowledge them. That if you lose, you don’t have to be gracious. That respect is optional.

That child will grow up. And one day, they will vote. They will lead. They will sit at the head of boardrooms, serve on juries, hold office. When it's their turn to choose understanding over division, they'll recall what they witnessed.

And they won’t shake the hand.

The Real Cost of Our Pettiness

We tell ourselves that democracy is strong, that America can withstand any storm. But democracy is not a fortress. It is a fragile, living thing, dependent on small, daily acts of mutual respect.

Democracy doesn’t die in a single, dramatic event. It dies in the little things.

It dies when we refuse to hear each other. When we decide that our political identity is more important than our shared humanity. When we treat our fellow citizens not as opponents, but as enemies.

And yes, it dies when a grown man, standing in the halls of power, cannot find it in himself to shake the hand of the Vice President of the United States.

What Comes Next?

We like to think history moves in grand sweeps, but it is built on moments like this.

So ask yourself: What happens when a country full of people refuse to shake hands? When Congress cannot pass laws because neither side will acknowledge the other? When cities burn, and leaders refuse to talk? When elections are lost, and the loser walks away not with grace, but with vengeance in their heart?

We have seen where this road leads. We are already on it.

So to those who still believe in the value of respect, of decency, of the small things that hold us together—I ask you to do what my coach once demanded of me:

Shake the hand.

Because the moment we stop, we lose more than just a game.

We lose everything.

#DeathOfDecency #DividedWeFall #ShakeTheHand #UnitedStates #HumanFirst #Integrity #Respect #Democracy