When the going gets tough, how do you keep going

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going, so they say.?

It’s easier said than done, don’t you think??

It is especially tough when your account balance is running low, your boss keeps giving you more work yet you’re underpaid, none of your prospects have called you back, or you just can’t seem to find a way to integrate (or balance) your responsibilities as a parent and as a professional. Oh, this space is too familiar to me. I’ve been there so many times, and I can just go on and on talking about how it feels like a dark long tunnel with no end in sight.?

So how do you keep it going then?

Here I share with you some tips where I won’t tell you to just suck it in and keep pushing.?

Like that? Read on.??

Rethink your destination

Where are you headed towards??

Sometimes, when my head is too preoccupied thinking about work or what to cook for dinner, I find myself heading towards my bookshelf or the bedroom, then I pause and ask myself, “What am I supposed to do here again?” This is what happens when we’re absent in our lives. Sometimes, we just keep going and going, but we’re not really sure anymore where we’re headed.?

You too might be going on that path for a while now, doing things almost automatically even without thinking. But when you feel like there’s something that’s not right or that’s uncomfortable about where you’re going, then it’s probably time to pause and rethink your destination. Is this still the same destination or goal you want to pursue?

Did you miss the exit?

I’ve coached many clients who begin our coaching sessions telling me that they’re stuck. At the end of the conversation though, they realize that they’re not stuck at all. They just didn’t notice that they’ve made progress or that they reached their goal already! It might sound a bit silly, but it’s true. In the same way that we sometimes miss the exit when we’re driving or miss our stop when on public transport, it happens too with our own goals.?

So pause and look around you, you might actually be near the end of your tunnel already.

Revisit your purpose?

Why do you do what you do?

As human beings, we change. We evolve.?

What was once valuable to you might have become less important already, making you feel disconnected or unenergized towards what you’re pursuing.?

Here’s an example. A year ago you might have started working extra hours so you can save enough to treat your wife to an anniversary trip to Paris. But 3 months before your anniversary, your wife gives birth to your first baby. Your circumstances and priorities have changed, and now you value giving your wife and baby more time. Yet you find yourself still working extra hours, for something that you no longer want or need now. And you get frustrated every time your boss asks you if you’re available for overtime work. It’s the perfect time to ask yourself, “why am I doing this again?”. You might just find that you don’t have a reason for it anymore!

Here’s another example. During the pandemic, you started actively looking for work-from-home jobs because you realized that you enjoy flexible work. A month ago, the management from where you’re working, announced that your team will now be 100% from home. So before you beat yourself up for being unsuccessful with your remote work applications, pause and ask why you’re still applying for new jobs even when your company has changed its setup. Is it really because you enjoy flexible work or do you have other reasons for wanting another job?

Being aligned with your purpose and what matters to you most now, can give you that much needed energy boost to carry you through the tough days.

Recheck your current position

Where are you coming from?

Your position, literally and figuratively, affects what you see.?

If you have your head down you’re probably only seeing what’s within a 1-meter radius. What you see when you’re on the second floor of a building will definitely be different from what you’ll see when you’re crawling on the ground.?

In the same way, the way we react to spilled coffee on our desk after we get a raise, might be different from how we’d react after getting fired.

The point is, there are many ways to see, interpret and respond to what’s happening around us and to us. When the road seems long and your strength seems limited, recheck your current position and explore how shifting your position or perspective might change things.?

Long story short… Pause before you push!

Challenges and setbacks might make you want to use every ounce of strength you have left. That’s fine, really. But if pushing yourself is not getting you anywhere, either because you’re just becoming more irritable by the minute or you’ve lost the spark and meaning of the work you do, pause first and pause regularly. Then move and push more intentionally.?

You got this! Graces abound in all that we do!

And if you need support to detangle your thoughts and clarify your intentions, coaching helps!