"When the going gets tough, the tough get going" - Billy Ocean

The Lord knows it would be a lie for me to sit here this morning in Kona, Hawaii saying that I’m full of praise and love for my new life to follow Jesus without feeling somewhat lost in this moment. There is a very human emotion that exists for wanting to understand our purpose, and why He places us in various scenarios.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” – Proverbs 19:21

I gave away everything I owned back in October 2017, and followed the pursuit placed on my heart to come to the Big (little) Island of Hawaii . . . It took a long time to arrive here, but we (Fredrick my dog) are here now. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” – John 10:27

So what’s next?

I had initially thought that I was going to Hawaii to buy a small piece of land, and farm. Although when I arrived on the island, I recognized that the desire to farm and tend to Mother Earth wasn’t in the physical labor sense, but to plant seeds as Jesus teaches us. 

Truth is, I’m an introvert, and always have been. I like my time alone, and my escape to recharge, ponder, or get lost in thought. When having to face the world, I get a bit anxious before getting into social settings. It’s selfish when I desire to be alone because I know we all have something to add to the world when spent time together, and edify one another. Truth is I’ve spent more time alone in my life then with actual human beings . . .

Few can relate to this concept, but I just recently learned this little weird fact about myself while reading Amy Schumer’s biography. In the book, she describes herself as an introvert, and gives light to what it all means, especially when we are viewed as someone that isn’t “shy”. I covet my alone time, but ironically, I pray for my future husband and family every day . . . this is probably a hilarious thought for anyone with kids; alone time.

I look across the room, and see the lovely face of my “son” Fredrick, and feel blessed to have him here with me while I pray, and ask the Lord to direct my path to glorify His name. I know that Fredrick is a gift. A couple weeks ago, randomly, a Pastor prophesied over me, and described my dog as “our ministry”. He’s right. There is a love and peace that exudes from baby Fred that attracts people to us, and to this day I believe why most of my friends associate with me in the first place. (this picture is literally Fredrick staring at me in this moment)

Fredrick will sit for hours and lovingly stare at me as though my happiness and peace relay on him. He knows me; he knows my heart. Our dogs know us better than anyone, and Fredrick has been my “ride or die” on this conquest for faith. He’s seen my many tears on this journey, as I’ve cried for the things of the past, frustration, exhaustion, love, fear, confusion, bliss . . . but just like Jesus, his love has never failed me.

I’ve been seeking opportunities to use Fredrick here in Hawaii, and where he may be able to share the most love for those in need. While attending worship at YWAM (Youth With A Mission), he had about ten, ten year olds, enamored by him. The child in my heart loves being around kids, and as serving as a “Big Sister” for Big Brothers Big Sisters of America for the past 6 years reminds me of my passion for youth. The blessing of Fredrick is that he makes us approachable, kind, and it probably doesn’t hurt that I physically appear to be a safe young woman; not a creeper. Fredrick gives me the opportunity to speak with children and their insight on the love of Jesus. There pureness and ability to think about our Heavenly Father is insightful, and always blesses my heart. 

When we were driving across country, living homeless, tent camping, and even on the beaches here in Hawaii, Fredrick taught me patience, and putting another’s needs before my own. As a 33 year old without kids, we tend to be selfish; duh right? I would get upset with exhaustion, and sadly it tested my patience when dealing with a dog that can’t express his feelings openly. We slept in my car many nights, and I was just happy to have him in the passenger seat, even though I felt guilt for putting him through this journey with me; but I thanked God. I was never alone; I had Jesus and Fredrick.  

I’ve reached out to Hospice of Hilo to get Fredrick involved with people staring death in the face, but I myself have never been around terminally ill people, or many senior citizens for that matter. My Mom, who was a Nurse her whole life, believes it may be too challenging for me. It’s a heavy burden to take on she tells me, and even my 84 year old neighbor says the same.  Oddly , I still feel called to it. In the meantime, Fredrick is a Certified Service Dog, but would required psychiatric evaluation in order to volunteer at Hospice. Again, we will pray on it.

Matthew 25:14-30 (The Parable of The Talents):

“For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them . . . “

The Lord has given each one of us “talents” and the “goods” described in the above sentence are exactly how we receive them . . . they are free. The point of the parable is to not be “lazy servants”, but to invest the free gifts he has given us in order to do good works for the betterment of the world, and His purpose. The same Pastor that spoke into my heart through his gifts from the Holy Spirit a couple weeks ago shared the “talents” I already knew I had of Faith and Evangelism . . . therefore, it is my purpose to use and develop these words to bring glory to God.

Therefore, it's clear to me that the Lord didn't send me to Hawaii, to buy a piece of land, on the side of a volcano, in the wilderness, to live, of-the-grid, alone. This would be considered wasted talent. Therefore, I must recognize my God given strengths, and coincide them with a passion to brighten the world.

I’m continuing to pray and seek ways to use the gift of love from 6 year old baby Fredrick, and realize that even if in one day, we get the opportunity to plant one seed for the sake of the kingdom of heaven; it’s a heck of a lot more than I’ve done through the course of a lifetime. Everyday I’m giving myself away to understand more and more of who I am in the eyes of Jesus. Wiping my heart clean of the selfish girl that once heavily existed, but still lingers . . . because I’m still a sinner! No one is perfect, except Jesus.

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going”

Life is short, and so often we get “stuck in the moment” probably similar to how I’m feeling this morning, but we have to fix our eyes on love for one another. He is Almighty, the Great I AM, and runs the entire movie of our lives, so we must obey His commands to serve one another – that’s heaven! We waste our talents when we don’t pursue Him, and sharing the testimony of His free gifts in our lives. We can’t get stuck in a rut because idleness leads to being a “lazy servant”, so take what gift you have and share it. 

My “show and tell” for the day is Fredrick, and prayers to share his peace with those in need. I hope to be an addition to His ministry, and sprinkle bits of love from Christ through my words, and actions.

Remember to love Him, as He loved us first, and therefore, love one another as he commands us. I love you too.

Mahalo!

April 18, 2018