When Getting Focused is Intoxicating

Tonight I'm meeting a small and very intentional group of men and women who wish to learn a bit more about getting focused, being mindful and how to implement its powerful practices and benefits. Step-by-step, I started teaching classes on mindfulness in medicine, mindfulness in law, mindfulness in business, and then mindfulness in relationships about five years ago. I seriously studied the subject for well over a decade and so I put together these programs for small groups (no more than 20 people per class), coupled with my life-coaching book and field guide that we use, Discover True North (published by McGraw-Hill/NY and translated into two-dozen languages worldwide).

Mindfulness is fascinating once you get the hang of it. People ask me, "What is the difference between being mindful, praying, or meditating?" Although all three are similar in the physiological responses they produce, mindfulness, and getting truly focused, are unique practices that can help you to become more aware and in the moment. There's a very special calm, almost intoxicating, vibe that comes over you when you become mindful of all that is going on in the quiet areas of your mind.

Intoxicating Focus

Besides the intoxicating experience of truly being in the moment—as a speaker and author, through mindfulness, I learned to become more focused—a core necessity when you speak before hundreds or thousands of people and write books for a living like I do. When you learn to be mindful something truly magical happens—you stop trying to control everything around you and you start hitting the reset button on life. This was the best part for me—hitting the reset button. It's like a fresh start and the clarity you get is inspiring and calming. Part of this process is learning how to refresh friendships, financial goals and do away with old beliefs that hold you back. Getting laser-focused and mindful allows you to take inventory of your life and even carve out time just for you. Self-deprivation becomes a thing of the past because you realize that there are no prizes for martyrdom.

Real life rewards come your way when you tear down walls and welcome positivity into your daily life. I guess you'd call it being more vulnerable. Once you do this, the next step is what I refer to as "calling in" what it is you specifically want and why you want it. You actually become the mirror reflection of what you want most. If someone treats you in a wonderful and special way, it is a mirror-reflection of how you have treated them and how you respect yourself and others.

Do You Know What You Want and Why It Would Make You Happy?

I'm convinced that people would be happier if they could spontaneously, without a lot of thought, complete the statement: "This is what I want (fill in the blank), and here's why it would make me happy (fill in the blank)." Sometimes I think we get so breakneck-busy trying to succeed in life, that we actually become the roadblock for all the good in life that is sitting out there just waiting to come our way. Mindfulness removes roadblocks and even feelings of helplessness. Emotion-focused time spent meditating, and practicing a wide-variety of mindfulness behaviors, becomes an organic coping mechanism—a powerful tool that really works if you let it.

I've always been a go-getter and self-starter. I think it's in my entrepreneurial DNA. But I know it's there. Slowing down doesn't come easy to me. Learning to be mindful and meditative didn't come easy either, but over time I learned to quiet my mind and step outside many of my daily stressors—not all of them, but a lot of them. Now it's something I practice almost every single day and I can actually track the patterns of benefits, both physically and psychologically. It's a remarkable feeling, but that's what we were born to be—remarkable—in our own unique, one-of-a-kind way.

Getting focused and mindful has lots of benefits, but here are just a few that may resonate with you. Mindful behaviors may help you to:

Be More Forgiving: When you truly love or care deeply about a relative, friend, or romantic partner, you are able to forgive them more easily. Mindful people also put other's needs before their own without losing self-respect and without giving up their own needs and desires. We practice self-love and ask for help when we need it.

Handle Your Anger: Research shows that people who practice mindful behaviors have fewer angry feelings and experience less frustration. When we are mindful and happy, our brain releases serotonin and dopamine, chemicals that create feelings of joyfulness and less agitated behavior.

Stop Being Judgmental: Mindfulness teaches us to use judgment, not pass judgment, because we learn to pause and take into consideration the human side of every person we encounter and why they behave the way they do. Everyone has a story.

Let Go of the "I Don't Have Time" Excuse

The biggest misconception about getting focused, practicing mindfulness, or learning to meditate is that it will eat up all your time. Not true. Even in our extremely hyper-connected lives, any of these practices can be put into motion in bite-size chunks of time—like sitting in gridlock traffic, eating a meal, waiting in the airport for a flight (my favorite), in the shower, on the subway, or waiting in line to get a latte.

Everyone Suffers

Everyone suffers in one way or another. It's human. And no one has walked in your shoes but you. Let mindfulness be your guide and I hope you will check out a copy of my book, Discover True North on Amazon. Visit me @TrueNorthAuthor for speaker/writer tools that last a lifetime.