When the Gender Pay Gap Starts at Home

If you’ve been following my posts you may have noticed I like to share a lot about the gender pay gap. Yet, I was surprised to learn that the gender pay gap starts at home. I don’t know why--considering my 10-year-old son has more money and is given more money by my male friends than my 12-year-old daughter. “Boys ask for and receive on average 13% more pocket money than girls,” Helen Whitehouse writes in her recent article for the Guardian.

When I first noticed this at home,  I thought it was just a matter of men relating with my son and not wanting to be ‘improper’ to my daughter, but after awhile it started to affect my daughter’s attitude towards my male friends. Likely, her self-worth has been affected too. My son will spend money more freely since he seems to think it will come back to him. Let’s me just be fair and say that my 10-year-old is completely unconscious of gender differences, but he does think about money, how much things cost and researches heavily anything he is interested in buying. He would also like to work, but again, he is only 10.

Whitehouse states the study shows that boys are more likely to ask for cash, and believes each time they are rewarded they are getting confirmation they can ask and receive anything they like over the course of their lifetimes. She sees this behavior as pushy and believes it ends up creating aggressive male business behaviors. She also notes how she has been urged to tone it down and “be passionate but patient” in her career.

Recently, my son asked me to split the cost of a scooter with him. When I said no, he immediately reacted. ”Now I can never get it!” What a perfect opportunity to talk about earning money vs just asking for it and for saving until he has enough of his own money to buy what he wants. The idea of passionate but patient could also mean wait for it to come to you vs going out and getting it. Boys seem more willing to work for money than girls. Perhaps that comes from a different set of chore expectations.

In the annual Halifax pocket money survey more boys than girls are now expected to do jobs around the house in return for their pocket money. The survey revealed a gender gap in saving with more boys saving than girls.

More boys receive money than girls in the pocket money stakes, with those who do receive it receiving more. Here’s the rub: boys are more likely to feel they are underpaid. They express that they should get more than they do. Sweetly, the chores they boys are doing are across the board and not relegated to what might be considered women’s work.

Differences in expectations of work ethic may lead to the pay gap itself. The boys feel they should receive more pay for their chores and they are asking for it, while the girls are more likely to stand by. Does this act itself out in adulthood where women are also less likely to ask for raises than men, furthering the spread in pay and savings?

 So what can we do about it? Most conclude that letting children earn pocket money helps them gain understanding about earning, spending, saving and investing (spending for later benefit). What we can do as parents to support fair work for fair pay is to encourage it and hand out the pocket money fairly. We can encourage the one who may be under-earning or under-working with ways they might step up the pay scale by negotiating for jobs they are best at.

I hope you learned in reading this, as I did in researching it and searching my own assumptions a little bit about how gender pay gaps develop and how we can encourage children and co-workers to speak up for themselves regardless of gender. When my older kids were in their young teens I read a book called Teen –proofing, by John Rosemond. In it he talks about not paying kids allowance, but telling them chores were what was required for being part of the family unit. I decided to do something like this and I call it Profit Sharing. My younger boy and girl really like this concept!

Zoe Sexton writes for www.rssic.com, herself and other professional service providers. @rssinvestco @zoesexton