When Gathering, It’s Good to Know Why

Season’s greetings, everyone!?

I hope this year’s festivities (however large, small, raucous, or sedate) connect you to the moments, traditions, and/or people that bring you peace, energy, and fortitude for a brilliant 2023.?

And speaking of connections, it’s hard to ignore the fact that getting together is still complicated. While many are happily returning to pre-pandemic norms for holiday gatherings, it’s also true that the era of the coronavirus is far from over. And let’s not forget that for lots of people, holiday gatherings were fraught with stress long before the virus came along (more on this in a moment).?

Whether at home for the holidays or at the office for a team meeting, the dynamics of group gatherings can be tricky for leaders, families, friends, and anyone looking to reconnect.?

Perhaps being forced to be more careful about how and why we gather will prove to be one of the side benefits of the pandemic. Most leaders and teams have adjusted to new protocols and cautions related to in-person activities. And that’s not a bad thing. Exercising more thoughtful intent in the planning of get-togethers and expressing appreciation in their aftermath seems likely to enhance the return on our social investments.?

But the math can be complicated.?

Predicting how people will feel and behave through the holidays is the subject of rigorous study, and clear answers are elusive.?

So far this year, it looks like holiday spending is curving upward over last year, and there’s a key footnote: the gains are more due to increases in in-store purchasing than online shopping. After two years of being denied social interaction, it should surprise no one that people now want human connection above all other wishes in their letters to Santa.?

But we should be careful. That doesn’t mean any kind of connection, or for everyone.??

For growing proportions of the population holiday celebrations crowded with humans can be super-spreaders of anxiety and depression. Almost 4 in 10 people will feel significantly heightened stress during this holiday season. And among the 20% of Americans already struggling with mental illness, that rate leaps to over 6 in 10. Despite our renewed freedom of movement, holiday anxiety is still trending upward.?

There’s a simple takeaway here: In the midst of the pressure to execute the events that comprise the holiday season, we too often fail to invest in the one thing we now crave most: connecting with each other.??

(Oh, and in case it’s not obvious, this applies to the return to in-person activities at work as well.)?

So now, after two long years of being kept from so many gatherings, maybe the best thing we can do is take some of the pressure off ourselves. Whether it’s family, friends, or teams at work, it’s worth remembering that the real reason we crave connection is not for the transactions of gift-giving, glass raising, and ritualistic consumption. What we really need is each other.?

The most perfect gift is our effort to be fully present. To stop for a moment, to listen, and to see each other without expectation of gift or receipt. And then to do so with the ones who weren’t invited, and the ones who are alone.?

My wish is for you to experience the joy of human connection, at work and in life, this season and throughout 2023.?

Happy Holidays!??

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