When Free... is NOT Free

?? Raise your (virtual) hand and wave it around if you've been asked out to go to lunch by a friend or acquaintance, only to be inundated with questions about 'how to do social media'.

?? Raise your other (virtual) hand and wave it around if you've had friends and family just plain ask you if they can 'pick your brain'.

?? Nod your (virtual) head if you've been asked to provide a business plan, a social media strategy or give your opinion about someone's Instagram feed or Facebook ad, free of charge.

?? Shake your (virtual) leg if you've been asked to help out a business in exchange for 'exposure'?

Remember that game we used to play as kids? I bet we can keep adding body parts until we are dizzy and confused! ????

Do you ever say yes? Do you indulge? Are you a sucker for a sad face and give in?

Stop it. There are better ways!

What should you do when asked to give free advice, free consults or are sucked into free meetings?

Today's newsletter is all about free advice! (Ironically, I do this by giving you my own 2 cents aka free advise. ?? )

When to give, when to push back, when and how to decline!

The Gift of Giving vs Being Asked to Give

"Gift giving is?an act of self-gratification. It is a good way to strengthening relationships."?

.....

So! Let's get one thing straight first before we dissect brain pickers, free-loaders and needy takers. (I say this in case someone tries to guilt you into giving!)

• When you want to offer free advice, give it.
• When you see a need you can fill, fill it.
• If you have time to volunteer and want to work pro bono, kudos to you!

Give freely of what you want to share, but don't feel the need to share anything you've worked hard for, just because someone else feels entitled to what you have !

Now that we've gotten this important detail out of the way, let's talk strategies to decline 'offers' of free work, especially when you are put on the spot!

A Lunch Date Is Not a Place to Conduct Business

Scenario: A friend invites you to lunch. You accept. Once you sit down and order your food, s/he says something like this "Now that I got you here, can I ask you about Facebook groups?"

How should you respond? Here is your script!

"Hey, great question. I do mind you asking. I'd rather sit here and enjoy time with you as a friend. Let me email you a link to my calendar this afternoon, so that we can set up a dedicated time for a 15-minute free consult in a proper business setting. I would love to help you put together a strategy for Facebook groups."

Doing this puts your friend and the conversation right back into the friend zone, away from business talk.

Set a Rate for Pick My Brain Consulting

The phrase 'pick your brain' sets off alarm bells for me. I find it distasteful, and rude.

Would you ever pick the brain of a doctor, a tax preparer or cleaning crew? I wager you would not! You pay for services rendered.

If you happen to be asked this question over and over, here is a perfect answer.

"I have a rate for that!" and show them your 'pick my brain' rate by sending them to the offering page on your website.

TIP: Choose to make it unapologetically yours.

Humorous i.e. 'Our free advice packages are sold out due to popular demand. We've added an affordable Pick My Brain option for $xxx/hour.'

Direct i.e 'Pick My Brain' $xxx/hour.

Years of Experience Won't Let Me Create a Strategy in 5 Minutes

Strategy takes time and requires a lot of moving pieces. One of the most frustrating 'asks' I personally receive is to 'give an opinion' on something that requires a lot of information. I used to try to help and provide a few social media tips, but I've come to understand that this only fuels the fire and in the end doesn't serve anyone.

Instead, I tell my friend, colleague, family member that I charge, and they need to pay, for years of expertise. I back it up with:

"A full social media strategy takes up to 4 weeks. It includes many hours of research, analysis and strategizing. It cost my team and I x number of hours. We charge $xxxx. Our strategic planning works. We stand behind our research. We are the best you can hire to get this done quickly and efficiently."

Boom.

Exposure Doesn't Pay the Mortgage

When I first started my business, I did quite a bit of work for exposure. The one and only time that worked out was when I was brand new to social media management. I found a local non-profit without any social media presence and pitched myself as their social media director, for no pay. That exposure (my LinkedIn title named me their 'social media director!) launched my local business and gave me the credibility I needed to get in the door of local, for-profit businesses that were able to hire and pay me.

The decision to work for exposure was mine, was strategic and had a clear, measurable end goal in mind.

All other exposure work I've ever tried did not provide ROI.

If you need to pay a mortgage, an electric bill, health insurance or rent, do not work for exposure. It's (almost) never beneficial for both parties; there is always one clear loser, and in my experience, that loser is always the marketer!

So how do you decline?

You say "I have bills to pay. Exposure doesn't pay them. If you need a payment plan, I can set that up for you."

How To Politely Decline Free Work

Practice saying 'no' in front of a mirror or record yourself doing it on camera.

No

Know this: 'No.' is a complete sentence.

If you need an answer from me today, the answer is no.

Don't get pressured into anything on the spot.

Thanks for thinking of me. I don't have any bandwidth for an unpaid project.

You can't recreate time. No pay, no play.

Power Tip: Make Them Work For It

I took this following advice from a colleague years ago.

"When asked for anything free, make that person work for it."

Say: "Yes, and... do this first"

Then give them a list of things to do:

• read a specific blog article on my website
• download a PDF
• subscribe to my podcast and listen to episode #x
• connect with me on LinkedIn
• share my latest Facebook tip
• join my Facebook group

Once they get back to you with a list of completed tasks, give them a link to book a (short) timeslot on the calendar.

Only those truly motivated and eager to learn will follow through, weeding out the 'users and losers' who would have taken up your time without thought!

When Free Isn't Free: The True Cost is Distraction

All the silliness set aside, the true cost of people not respecting you, your business, your expertise and your time is ...distraction!

Each time you are sucked into the vortex of freeloaders, you are distracted from your paid projects.

My friend Lisa Danforth is a brilliant business coach. She shares these pointers:

• Set clear boundaries. What are you willing to do for free, if anything, moving forward?
• Uphold these boundaries for yourself. People will try to get past them. Stay the course.
• Give the gift of transparency. If you've given away your knowledge for free before, but you are done once and for all, say that. "I know I have done xyz in the past. That is not working for me anymore. Moving forward, it will cost $xxx."

What You CAN Give Away for Free Instead!

In business, and in life, give freely of the following as these will come back at you many times over.

• smiles
• kindness
• patience
• loyalty
• friendship
• trust
• respect

Surround yourself with those who respect you, boundaries you've set, your precious time and the years of expertise you've worked for. Surround yourself with those willing to pay for all of it!

Dorien Morin-van Dam

?? Organic Social Media Specialist + Chief Strategist @?More In Media

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PS Feel like sharing your most horrifying pick my brain war story? Do it! The winner gets a gold star! ??

I might even share mine! (Ask me about the one where I spent 2 hours talking over a $6 sandwich, only to be spammed via their LinkedIn connection request 5 years later!)