When Failure Comes Unexpectedly to a Man

In the final analysis, Dan's confidence borne of providing good financial advice for seventeen years proved meaningless. Marcie's email absolutely stunned.

"Dan, thank you for the sevenetee years of service you provided to Phil
and me. However, now that my circmstances have changed, I have decided
to work with another financial advisor. 
Please expect to receive the transfer paperwork shortly."         

It hit Dan hard. He thought to himself, "I never realized there was a problem with the relationship." His judgment of the circumstances, of course, remained flawed. In fact, his services weren't terminated because of a "problem" with the relationship. Rather, he was jettisoned because, insofar as Marcie was concerned- and that is all that mattered now- there was no relationship.

Dan's misplaced assumption that his advisory role would simply continue after Phil's passing holds several important lessons that male advisors should take to heart:

1. Dan's dollar-centric framework for evaluating his performance was misaligned with Marcie's values and financial priorities.
2. From Dan's perspective, he did his job well. For most of the past 14-years, Phil and Marcie's portfolio value grew. More recently, it had sustained losses, but so did everything else after all. Dan's view was that a $316,000 decline in a $2,45,000 portfolio was not unreasonable considering overall market performance.
3. In their annual meetings Dan's attention was almost exclusively focused on Phil. Dan perceived Phil as more knowledge about money than Marcie. Phil liked reviewing the statements, charts and graphs that he was shown. Dan perceived Marcie's staying in the background, her silence and nodding, as agreement.
4. Dan appreciated Phil's interest in stock-pickling. They loved to discuss various companies. Most often, Dan would agree with Phil's suggestions to buy or sell certain stocks. Dan felt that Phill completely understood the risks involved.

Several weeks after Phil's funeral service, Marcie decided to look for a new financial advisor. This was not a new thought. For years, she has been somewhat uncomfortable with Dan's focusing his attention on Phil. Although she was included in many meetings with Dan, Marcie never felt that she was really a participant in any meaningful way. Dan seldom made any sustained eye contact with her, and rarely asked her questions.

On more than one occasion, Marcie asked Phil why he liked Dan. Phil's responses were consistent:" He's doing a good job. Our investments are growing." But Marcie would wonder if the growth was truly due to Dan, or simply because everything seemed to be growing. She wondered if there was too much risk in their investment portfolio.

When the portfolio losses came, Marcie 's concerns began to intensify. At age 64, and in good health, and mindful that her mother lived into 92, financial security over the long-term is what Marcie thought about most. The stock-picking was of no interest to her. Reducing risk was a keen interest.

Unexpectedly, Phil became seriously ill, and within a few short months he had passed. When she was able to focus on money issues, Marcie could not imagine continuing to look to Dan for financial advice. After all, Dan's relationship was with Phil, not her.

In thinking about how she would find a financial advisor to work with, Marcie asked her girlfriends for recommendations. One friend, Sue, gave Marcie a glowing review of her advisor, Mark.

Marcie called Mark. After a brief conversation. Mark invited Marcie to his office. Within 15-minutes, Marcie knew that she had found the right advisor.

On her drive home, Macie thought back over her conversation with Mark. She understood why she was so comfortable with him:

• In a conversation lasting 45-minutes, they never discussed investments.
• Mark was warm. He smiled and made eye contact.
• He asked questions that held deep meaning for Marcie.
• Mark wanted to know as much as Marcie could teel him about her three children. Their goals and circumstances.
• Mark conveyed a sincere desire to understand Marcie's values.
• Mark listened intently as Marcie described her concern for her financial security over what she felt could be decades.
• When Marcie expressed her priorities, including reducing risk and have a secure income, she felt that her concerns registered with Mark.
• For the first time on her life, Marcie felt listened to by a financial advisor.

How would you describe an industry that loses 70% if its customers? Broken, perhaps? This is the regrettable state of the financial advisory business in the context of "boomer" women.

Considering that by the end of this decade, women will control almost all of the available wealth assets, I ask you to consider these questions:

1. Is it not true that unless male advisors are capable of developing authentic relationships with women clients, they will simply have no viable future in this industry?
2. Is it not true that the majority of male advisors operate under the delusion that they actually have meaningful relationships with female spouses when they don't?
3. Is it not true that the industry's track record warrants a concentrated effort at coaching male advisors on how to create authentic relationships with women clients?
4. Is it not true that male advisors tend to serve-up too much risk to "boomer" women? And that male advisors often fail to appreciate how differently men and women look at money?
5. Doesn't it make sense that greater recognition of women's longer life expectancies argues that more advisors should embrace in their planning the guaranteed lifetime income that only annuities can deliver?

Note that Marcie's new advisor is male. From all of the research I've read, women are happy to work with a male advisor, as long as an authentic relationship exists. The key question is, "Will men be able to change in ways that lead to constructive relationships with women?" If not, we are going to need many, many more women advisors.

If you are a financial advisor and what you've read here means something to you, look closely at Women & Income. This is the program I developed to address the problems described above. It's great solution in that it incorporates everything you need to both win women clients, and to design and implement income planning strategies that align with women's investing preferences. If, like me, you believe that women are the future of wealth management, this is a good time to learn about Women & Income. Think of it as career insurance.

Sheryl Hickerson Michelle Gordon Sheryl J. Moore Marcie Carvalho Jean Statler Sara Grillo, CFA Michelle R. Gordon (aka Michelle R. Clark) Gary Mettler Massimo Young, CFA Ted Bernstein Andy Panko, CFP?, RICP?, EA Craig Barnwell, CF2 José R. Alicea Cruz, MBA Carey Yukich Dr. Donald Moine Orian Williams, JD, LL.M, CFP? Curtis V. Cloke, LUTCF, CLTC, RICP Suzanne Siracuse Mari Adam, CFP?, MBA, CRPC?, CFT? Kary Brownlee, CFP? John Stadtmueller Tom Hegna #womenandmoney Females and Finance Community #annuity Jason Ray Rachel Fox Royce Neal Angel Alan Gappinger Ryan Gappinger Tyrone Clark Robert Huebscher John Rafferty Noah Zuss Katie Greifeld Graham Bowley Luisa Beltran Neil Weinberg Corrie Driebusch

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